Public Sleep Talker

One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. “Reverend,” she said, “I have a problem–my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It’s very embarrassing. What should I do?” “I have an idea,” said the minister. “Take this hatpin with you. I … Continue reading

More Stupid American Laws

These are real standing laws from around the United States of America. Hope you enjoy them and remember, Law Enforcement is no joke! Alabama It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle. California Community leaders passed an ordinance that makes it illegal for anyone to … Continue reading

Church Announcements

Believe it or not, the following announcements actually appeared in various church bulletins. 1. Don’t let worry kill you — let the church help. 2. Thursday night – Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow. 3. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community. 4. … Continue reading

who’s Emo Philips?

Women: You can’t live with them, and you can’t get them to dress up in a skimpy Nazi costume and beat you with a warm squash. — Emo Phillips The toughest time…in anyone’s life…is when you have to kill a loved one just because they’re the devil. — Emo Phillips … Continue reading

Microsoft acquires another ………..

MICROSOFT to Acquire LDS Church SALT LAKE CITY (AP)- In a surprise move that left competitors stunned, Microsoft has followed up its successful merger with the Roman Catholic Church by announcing a cash buyout of the Church of Jesus Christ-Latter Day Saints. In recent weeks, high officials of the LDS … Continue reading

Microsoft and the Catholic Church

MICROSOFT Bids to Acquire Catholic Church By Hank Vorjes VATICAN CITY (AP) — In a joint press conference in St. Peter’s Square this morning, MICROSOFT Corp. and the Vatican announced that the Redmond software giant will acquire the Roman Catholic Church in exchange for an unspecified number of shares of … Continue reading

children’s Christian church answers

Some children’s answers to church school questions (released by a Church of England publication : * Noah’s wife was called Joan of Arc * Henry VIII thought so much of Wolsley that he made him a cardigan * The fifth commandment is “humour thy father and mother” * Lot’s wife … Continue reading

Actual Signs Seen Out-And-About

The following are actual signs seen across the good ol’ U.S.A. At a Santa Fe gas station: We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container. In a New York restaurant: Customers who consider our waitresses uncivil ought to see the manager. On the wall of a Baltimore estate: … Continue reading

Why Mozart lost the job

Why Mozart Lost the Job Dear Dean X: I write in response to your suggestion of an appointment to our faculty for a Mr. W. A. Mozart, currently of Vienna, Austria. While the Music Department appreciates your interest, faculty are sensitive about their prerogatives in the selection of new colleagues. … Continue reading