Top Condom Slogans (3 of 3)

Cover your diddle then fiddle her middle Can your knob then throb her swab Contain old Doug then clean her rug Cover your limb before you swim Retain your bailer then impail her Rope your dope then make some soap Net your salamander then make salad in her Cap your … Continue reading

Politically Correct Ways To Say Someone Is Stupid

A few clowns short of a circus. A few fries short of a Happy Meal. An experiment in Artificial Stupidity. A few beers short of a six-pack. Dumber than a box of hair. A few peas short of a casserole. Doesn’t have all his cornflakes in one box. The wheel’s … Continue reading

Santa Clause for Concern

Dear Santa: We’re worried about you. From your rosy red cheeks to your legendary girth to your all-night sleigh ride around the world, you may be at risk for diseases, maladies, mishaps and lawsuits that send chills through our Santa-loving hearts. The latest warning comes from the National Rosacea Society … Continue reading

Seasonal Medical Report: Unique Case of Aerial Sleigh-Borne Present-Deliverer’s Syndrome

Case Report: Unique Case of Aerial Sleigh-Borne Present-Deliverer’s Syndrome Source: North Pole Journal of Medicine, vol 1 no.1, December 1993 Author: Dr. Iman Elf, M.D. On January 2, 1993, Mr. C, an obese, white caucasian male, who appeared approximately 65 years old, but who could not accurately state his age, … Continue reading

The Night Before Christmas; Legally Speaking

THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS, LEGALLY SPEAKING Whereas, on or about the night prior to Christmas, there did occur at a certain improved piece of real property (hereinafter “the House”) a general lack of stirring by all creatures therein, including, but not limited to a mouse. A variety of foot apparel, … Continue reading