Top Condom Slogans (3 of 3)

Cover your diddle then fiddle her middle Can your knob then throb her swab Contain old Doug then clean her rug Cover your limb before you swim Retain your bailer then impail her Rope your dope then make some soap Net your salamander then make salad in her Cap your … Continue reading

The World’s Best Worst Pickup Lines

I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand. Can I borrow a quarter? [“What for?”] I want to call my mom and tell I just met the girl of my dreams. OR I want to call your mother and thank her. Is your daddy a thief? [“No.”] … Continue reading

The Top 10 Things I Am Doing on Fall Break

Watching every Monty Python movie…again Tearing apart my mother’s 486 and smuggling the parts into the UNIX lab 360 holes of miniature golf Realizing my dream of becoming a male prostitute Making fun on the Norwin School Board…just like the old days Rebuilding Cheese (yeah, right.) Crusing past Pitt-Greensburg and … Continue reading

Another top ten

TOP TEN REASONS COLLEGE IS LIKE PRESCHOOL 10. You cry for your mother. 9. You cross the street without looking for cars. 8. Snack time is a necessity. 7. You bundle up for the outdoors without caring what you look like (because everyone else looks as stupid as you do). … Continue reading

100 Zany Ways To Phone In A Pizza Order

If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it. Use CB lingo where applicable. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal. Terminate the call with, “Remember, we never had this … Continue reading