The Top 10 Ways You Can Tell If You’re An Engineering Student

Your standard pick-up line is, “Hey, baby, what’s your URL?” Your car’s oil filter is made out of toilet paper Your graphing calculator has more computing power than a Pentium 200 You window-shop at Radio Shack You’ve ever debated who was a better captain… Kirk or Picard You own more … Continue reading

Lost Star Trek Episode

“Star Trek Lost Episodes” transcript. Picard: “Mr. LaForge, have you had any success with your attempts at finding a weakness in the Borg? And Mr. Data, have you been able to access their command pathways?” Geordi: “Yes, Captain. In fact, we found the answer by searching through our archives on … Continue reading

Assorted Humor, The Return of the Laugh

A kindergarten teacher asked, “What is the shape of the Earth?” Little Alvin said, “Terrible!” …….. Just before the Thanksgiving holiday, the teacher asked her kindergarten class, “What do you have to be thankful for?” One youngster said, “I’m thankful I’m not a turkey!” For the first time in many … Continue reading

where are they now?

Some of you may be wondering what ever happened to some famous cartoon characters after they made their big splash. Well, I caught up with a few of them, and these are some of the results: The Grinch Changed his name to Gingrich and became Speaker of the House. Frosty … Continue reading

Star Trek Voyager the Drinking Game

HERE IT IS AFTER ONLY 2 EPISODES— ITS ITS ITS STAR TREK: VOYAGER: The DRINKING Game (23 Jan 1995) by: Melanie Adams melanie@strauss.udel.edu Joan Bremer psycho@strauss.udel.edu Tom Schwerdt pyro@strauss.udel.edu (p.s. all that legal mumbo jumbo about copyrights and such) ========================================================================= 3: Plot suspiciously reminds us of an older plot of … Continue reading

How things are named

Did you hear how our country Canada was named? … well … there are two stories as to how this came about. The first story holds that the first to arrive, upon meeting the natives would ask “what is the name of this place?” to which the natives would respond … Continue reading

Universal Truths

MEDIA, TV, FILMS The hell with the Prime Directive – let’s kill something! Hello. My name is Batman. You killed my father. Prepare to die. He’s dead, Jim. You take his phaser, I’ll get his wallet. I hate you, you hate me, let’s go out and kill Barney – with … Continue reading

kirk vs. picard

Top One Hundred Reasons Why Captain Kirk is Better Than Captain Picard 100. Kirk is a leader, not a follower. 99. Kirk never really got into that kinky “Jumpsuit” look. 98. Kirk has sex more than once a season. 97. One Word: Hair. 96. Another Word: Pretty-good-looking-can’t-see-the-weave-WIG. 95. Kirk can … Continue reading

If Dr. Seuss Wrote For Star Trek the Next Generation

If Dr. Seuss wrote for Star Trek: the Next Generation… By Dave Fuller Picard: Sigma Indri, that’s the star, So, Data, please, how far? How far? Data: Our ship can get there very fast But still the trip will last and last We’ll have two days til we arrive But … Continue reading

things that you don’t want to here on an airlpane

THINGS YOU DON’T WANT TO OVERHEAR OVER AN AIRLINE P.A. SYSTEM 1. Ocean crossing flight: This is your Captain speaking, I just wanted to take this time to remind you that your seat cushions can be used as floatation devices… 2. Hey folks, we’re going to play a little game … Continue reading

Captain Kirk meets the Road Runner

Captain’s Log, Stardate 54324.5: Starfleet Command has directed the Enterprise to do a preliminary exploration of planet M22 in advance of a full research team. Scanners report the atmosphere to be breathable, but are recieving confusing readings with regard to life forms. I am beaming down with a landing party … Continue reading

Star Trek Top Ten April Fool’s Jokes on the Enterprise

Everybody act like Riker is the captain Pretend you’ve been taken over by an alien being Program the replicator in Troi’s room so that it won’t make chocolate Replay file tape of Borg ship on main viewer Tell Data that Starfleet has decided to dismantle him Put a small speaker … Continue reading

Your Starship Captain Just Might Be A Redneck If…

Your shuttle craft has been up on blocks for over a month He paints flames and a NRA sticker on the warp nacelles You have a shuttle called “Billy Joe Bob” He refers to Klingons as “Critters” He refers to Photon Torpedoes as “Popguns” He has the sensor array repaired … Continue reading