There can be only one

MELTS IN YOUR HEAD NOT IN YOUR HAND (Penn, the talking one of Penn & Teller, says, “You find wacky stuff on the Net – no doubt about it.” Judge for yourselves: Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and … Continue reading

Top Ten Reasons Trick-Or-Treat Is Better Than Sex

Guaranteed to get a little something in the sack If you get tired, wait ten minutes and go at it again The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some You don’t have to compliment the person who gives you candy The person you are with doesn’t fantasize … Continue reading

Getting the Attention Of The Class

Getting and keeping students’ attention, particularly as the semester wears on, is always a problem. I offer my colleagues the following method whereby I gain attention from the first moments of class, and regain it at any time during the year. Purchase one of those ‘gourmet’ candy canes from the … Continue reading

candy bars …

Candy Fun ————— It was another Payday, and I was tired of being Mr. Goodbar. So I saw Miss Hershey standing behind the Powerhouse on the corner of Clark and Fifth Avenue, and I whipped out my Whopper and whispered, “Hey Sweetart, how’d you like to Krunch on my Big … Continue reading

50 Fun Things Todo in a Final That Doesn’t Matter

You are going to fail the class completely no matter what you get on the final exam, so: Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say “oh geez, better get cracking” and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes … Continue reading