Actual Newspaper Headlines

Something went wrong in jet crash, experts says Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers Safety Experts say school bus passengers should be belted Drunk gets nine months in violin case Survivor of siamese twins joins parents Farmer Bill dies in house Iraqi head seeks arms Is there a ring … Continue reading

Letterman top ten

Letterman’s: TOP TEN WAYS TO GET DUMB GUYS TO VOTE FOR YOU 10) Promise to replace presidential limo with monster truck. 9) Pass out campaign buttons and say “Look, free shiny things!” 8) Promise that if you win, you’ll help them get the mouse traps off their feet. 7) In … Continue reading