100 Ways to Confuse Your Roommate

Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat. Then leave “Slim Jim” wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach everytime your roommate walks in. If he/she asks about the wrappers, say you know nothing about them. Get some hair. Disperse … Continue reading

How Many Republicans Does It Take To Screw In A Light Bulb?

462 12 to investigate Clinton’s involvement in the failure of the old bulb… 23 to deregulate the light bulb industry… 16 to cut funding for alternative-lighting research and development… 34 to cut the tax rate on light bulbs… 53 to design a block grant so the states can change the … Continue reading

50 Fun Things Todo in a Final That Doesn’t Matter

You are going to fail the class completely no matter what you get on the final exam, so: Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say “oh geez, better get cracking” and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes … Continue reading

Light Bulbs and College Students

How many George Washington students does it take to change a lightbulb? Five–one to change the lightbulb, and four to complain that, for the money they’re paying, someone damn well ought to change the lightbulb for them. How many Carnegie Mellon students does it take to change a lightbulb? Four … Continue reading