Top Condom Slogans (2 of 3)

Glove your pecker before you check her Coat that slimmer before you prime her Condomize then womanize Cover old pete then grind her meat Guard your peter before you meet her Check your list before you tryst Wrap your bate before you mate Can your worm before you squirm Cover … Continue reading

Top 10 People I Can Do Without On This Campus

Foot draggers (see West Hall) Anyone who calls the Help Desk with a simple problem and gives the entire 30 minute unabridged version of how it happened and all the circumstances surrounding it and what they were wearing at the time, etc. Guys who wear their girlfriends’ sorority letters The … Continue reading

Entrance Exam – Football Player Version

Entrance Exam – Football Player Version Time Limit: 3 WKS What language is spoken in France? Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire with particular reference to architecture, literature, law and social conditions -OR- give the first name of Pierre Trudeau. Would you ask William Shakespeare to build a … Continue reading

kirk vs. picard

Top One Hundred Reasons Why Captain Kirk is Better Than Captain Picard 100. Kirk is a leader, not a follower. 99. Kirk never really got into that kinky “Jumpsuit” look. 98. Kirk has sex more than once a season. 97. One Word: Hair. 96. Another Word: Pretty-good-looking-can’t-see-the-weave-WIG. 95. Kirk can … Continue reading

Religous – humorous

Little Sally comes home from Sunday school and her mother asks her what she learned. “The teacher told us the story of Moses leading his people out of Egypt”, Sally said. Her mother asked Sally to tell her the story. “Well”, said Sally, “Moses led his people away from Egypt … Continue reading

Only in Arkansas

Here’s more on why Arkansas is everyone’s favorite state. This is from the Arkansas Democrat Gazette: “Two local men were seriously injured when their pickup truck left the road and hit a tree near Cotton Plant on State Highway 38 early Monday morning…” “Thurston Poole, 33, of Des Arc, and … Continue reading

50 Fun Things Todo in a Final That Doesn’t Matter

You are going to fail the class completely no matter what you get on the final exam, so: Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say “oh geez, better get cracking” and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes … Continue reading

Your Starship Captain Just Might Be A Redneck If…

Your shuttle craft has been up on blocks for over a month He paints flames and a NRA sticker on the warp nacelles You have a shuttle called “Billy Joe Bob” He refers to Klingons as “Critters” He refers to Photon Torpedoes as “Popguns” He has the sensor array repaired … Continue reading