The Thinnest Books

“How to win a presidential election” by Bob Dole. “Things not to do on a first date.” by Hugh Grant “Guide to being accepted” by Dennis Rodman “Why I’m so darn Popular” by the Ayatollah “Guide to marital Bliss” by OJ “How to avoid the temptations of drugs” by the … Continue reading

You Know You’re a Grad Student When…

You just might be a grad student if: you can identify universities by their internet domains. you are constantly looking for a thesis in novels. you have difficulty reading anything that doesn’t have footnotes. you understand jokes about Foucoult. the concept of free time scares you. you consider caffeine to … Continue reading

100 Ways to Confuse Your Roommate

Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat. Then leave “Slim Jim” wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach everytime your roommate walks in. If he/she asks about the wrappers, say you know nothing about them. Get some hair. Disperse … Continue reading

You seen this yet? A little pre- final inspiration.

And it came to pass. Early in the morning, toward the last day of the semester. There arose a great multitude, smiting the books and wailing, And there was much weeping and gnashing of teeth, For the day of judgement was at hand. And they were afraid, for they had … Continue reading

Inverterate Smilers Need a Dose of Reality

One of my fondest curbstone theories has recently been confirmed by genuine scientific research. It has to do with why some people are chronically grouchy and depressed while others are always bubbling with enthusiasm and looking at the bright side of life. A psychologist took a close look at students … Continue reading

Beavis and Butthead Pickup Lines

Uh, hey baby. Uh, do you like come here often, huh huh. I said “come.” You need a man in your life, baby. And like, I need a woman. Let’s like get into each other’s life or whatever. Uh, like let’s drop all the uh B.S. and like, you know, … Continue reading

New Year’s Resolutions

As we all prepare to start a new year, it is time again to make those ever so important New Year’s Resolutions. I have faithfully made such resolutions in the past, and while I haven’t been able to keep all of them, I have tried my best to continue making … Continue reading

T’was the Night Before Finals

And it came to pass. Early in the morning, toward the last day of the semester. There arose a great multitude, smiting the books and wailing, And there was much weeping and gnashing of teeth, For the day of judgement was at hand. And they were afraid, for they had … Continue reading

You Might Be A Grad Student If…

You just might be a graduate student if… …you can analyze the significance of appliances you cannot operate. …your carrel is better decorated than your apartment. …you have ever, as a folklore project, attempted to track the progress of your own joke across the Internet. …you are startled to meet … Continue reading