Top Condom Slogans (3 of 3)

Cover your diddle then fiddle her middle Can your knob then throb her swab Contain old Doug then clean her rug Cover your limb before you swim Retain your bailer then impail her Rope your dope then make some soap Net your salamander then make salad in her Cap your … Continue reading

Forrest Who?

FORREST in EVERYONE’S LIFE Forrest Gump Life is like a Box of chocolates… Forrest Dahmer People are like a box of chocolate, YUM! Forrest Simpson Mmmmm, choolate Forrest the Hun Chocolate all mine! Forrest Simmons Chocolate is bad!, EXERCISE EXERCISE! Forrest Rivera People who like Chocolate..Next on ‘Forrest’ Forrest Jackson … Continue reading

Smurf Sex

A Joke not suitable for readers under the age of 18.

It’s time to tell the truth about Smurfs. You see, Smurfs are a lot like other folks; they have dreams and ambitions, deep, thoughtful conversations with each other, and good and bad times. “But,” people ask, “do Smurfs have….. you know,…… sex?” The answer is an emphatic and resounding YES! And … Continue reading

100 Zany Ways To Phone In A Pizza Order

If using a touch-tone, press random numbers while ordering. Ask the person taking the order to stop doing that. Make up a charge-card name. Ask if they accept it. Use CB lingo where applicable. Order a Big Mac Extra Value Meal. Terminate the call with, “Remember, we never had this … Continue reading

Application To Live in New Jersey

NAME:__________________________ Nickname:_____________________ ADDRESS: ______________________ EXIT # __________ ______________________ ETHNIC BACKGROUND: _______Italian _______Sicilian ________Jewish BACKYARD SMELLS LIKE: a)Sewage b)Sulfur c)Garbage d)All of the above TOTAL # OF MUSCLE SHIRTS a)5 – 10 b)10 – 15 c)15 – 20 d)20 and above # OF BON JOVI TOUR SHIRTS a)5 – 10 b)10 … Continue reading