100 Ways to Confuse Your Roommate

Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat. Then leave “Slim Jim” wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach everytime your roommate walks in. If he/she asks about the wrappers, say you know nothing about them. Get some hair. Disperse … Continue reading

Inverterate Smilers Need a Dose of Reality

One of my fondest curbstone theories has recently been confirmed by genuine scientific research. It has to do with why some people are chronically grouchy and depressed while others are always bubbling with enthusiasm and looking at the bright side of life. A psychologist took a close look at students … Continue reading

The 14 Commandments of the Religious Left (Political)

Rush Limbaugh announced the following on his TV show, June 29. It was reprinted in the July 1, {Washington [DC] Times}. He stated that with all the attacks on the “religious right” by the liberals, it was time to find out what their agenda was, so without further delay, here … Continue reading

Murphy’s Laws of Computing

================================================= MURPHY’S LAWS OF COMPUTING 1. When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen. 2. When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it’s probably obsolete. 3. The first place to look for information is in the section of the manual where … Continue reading

Computer Acronyms

Useful Acronyms PCMCIA People Can’t Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms ISDN It Still Does Nothing APPLE Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity SCSI System Can’t See It DOS Defunct Operating System BASIC Bill’s Attempt to Seize Industry Control IBM I Blame Microsoft DEC Do Expect Cuts CD-ROM Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months … Continue reading

The CEO And The Three Envelopes

A fellow had just been hired as the new CEO of a large high tech corporation. The CEO who was stepping down met with him privately and presented him with three numbered envelopes. “Open these if you run up against a problem you don’t think you can solve,” he said. … Continue reading

50 Fun Things Todo in a Final That Doesn’t Matter

You are going to fail the class completely no matter what you get on the final exam, so: Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say “oh geez, better get cracking” and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes … Continue reading