Bird – ASCII Art

..-==””””==__ / Spread your tiny wings and fly away ___/ <0) And take the snow back with you _=”___ | Where it came from on that day =__ / | The one I love forever’s been untrue ~~_ /___ And if I could you know that I would “/ ,.=”~~~”==_””=__ … Continue reading

Dictonary of Gardening

Or the real truth about that funny place round the back. Aaaa Sound produced by dozing gardener when stung by bee trapped in said gardener’s trouser leg. Annual Any plant that dies before blooming. Aphid Insect pest that inphests gardens and makes gardeners phoam at the mouth, stamp their pheet … Continue reading

Heroic Failures

THE WORST HOMING PIGEON This historic bird was released in Pembrokeshire in June 1953 and was expected to reach its base that evening. It was returned by post, dead, in a cardboard box eleven years later from Brazil. THE WORST ANIMAL RESCUE During the firemen’s strike of 1978, the British … Continue reading

Smurf Sex

A Joke not suitable for readers under the age of 18.

It’s time to tell the truth about Smurfs. You see, Smurfs are a lot like other folks; they have dreams and ambitions, deep, thoughtful conversations with each other, and good and bad times. “But,” people ask, “do Smurfs have….. you know,…… sex?” The answer is an emphatic and resounding YES! And … Continue reading

Sweeping (Pun)

A sailor was caught AWOL as he tried to sneak on board his ship at about 3am. The chief petty officer spied him and ordered the sailor to stop. Upon hearing the sailor’s lame explanation for his tardiness, the officer ordered the sailor, “Take this broom and sweep every link … Continue reading