A little humor…

THE FACTS OF LIFE: The 2 most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you. Money can’t buy happiness…But it sure makes misery easier to live with.. Deja Moo: The feeling that you’ve heard this bullshit before. Psychiatrists … Continue reading

Factoids

Factoids * Coca-cola was originally green. * Iceland consumes more Coca-Cola per capita than any other nation. * Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than for the US Treas. * Smartest dogs: 1)border collie; 2)poodle; 3)golden retriever * Dumbest: afghan * Hawaiian alphabet has 12 letters. * Men … Continue reading

Dictionary of Evaluation Comments

Some of you might like to know what the supervisor is really saying in all those glowing employee work performance evaluations s/he keeps cranking out. AVERAGE: Not too bright. EXCEPTIONALLY WELL QUALIFIED: Has committed no major blunders to date. ACTIVE SOCIALLY: Drinks heavily. ZEALOUS ATTITUDE: Opinionated. CHARACTER ABOVE REPROACH: Still … Continue reading

Harmless quotes

Don’t worry over what other people are thinking about you. They’re too busy worrying over what you are thinking about them. Unnamed Law: If it happens, it must be possible. Putt’s Law: Technology is dominated by two types of people: Those who understand what they do not manage. Those who … Continue reading

Are You Normal?

(Facts about us Americans. Did you know that…) Only 30% of us can flare our nostrils. 21% of us don’t make our bed daily. 5% of us never do. Men do 29% of laundry each week. Only 7% of women trust their husbands to do it correctly. 40% of women … Continue reading

Driving Tips for Maine

Living smack in the middle of a place like Maine means that you have to drive a fairly good distance to get anywhere that doesn’t look like a Jack Daniel’s ad. You know the ones where there’s a black and white picture of some old redneck with no teeth to … Continue reading

Randoms

It has just been discovered that research causes cancer in rats. The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, since the average man can see better than he can think. How long a minute is depends upon which side of the bathroom door you are on. Diplomacy is the … Continue reading

Sex Maths

Scientists have determined that the average time for intercourse is four minutes. The average number of strokes per minute is nine, and since the average length is six inches, the average girl receives two hundred and sixteen inches or eighteen feet per intercourse. The average girl does it three times … Continue reading

Learning from Baywatch

What Other Countries Learn About the USA from Baywatch American men and women spend 15 percent of their days running in slow motion along the beach. Americans almost drown an average of two times each hour. Despite the habit of breathing water, CPR always works and no one actually dies, … Continue reading