Heroic Failures

THE WORST HOMING PIGEON This historic bird was released in Pembrokeshire in June 1953 and was expected to reach its base that evening. It was returned by post, dead, in a cardboard box eleven years later from Brazil. THE WORST ANIMAL RESCUE During the firemen’s strike of 1978, the British … Continue reading

Top Ten Signs Your Shoe Salesman Is Actually The Devil

He helps customers sitting in front of him and in back of him by spinning his head around His store has big Hitler’s Birthday sale Offers you 15% off if you sell him your soul Name of store: “Thom McAngel of Death” When you tell him you don’t like a … Continue reading

Signs You Have A Drinking Problem

You lose arguments with inanimate objects. You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth. Job interferring with your drinking. Your docter finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream. Career won’t progress beyond Senator from Massachusettes. The back of your head keeps getting hit … Continue reading

Pizza Intelligence: An Update

Note: OPSEC is short for “Operations Security”, i.e. ensuring a potential enemy cannot determine what you’re about to do. Earlier this year [1991], we reported that Domino’s Pizza claims it can predict when the government is about to undertake some sort of major activity based upon the increase in pizza … Continue reading