Heroic Failures

THE WORST HOMING PIGEON This historic bird was released in Pembrokeshire in June 1953 and was expected to reach its base that evening. It was returned by post, dead, in a cardboard box eleven years later from Brazil. THE WORST ANIMAL RESCUE During the firemen’s strike of 1978, the British … Continue reading

How do you hunt elephants?

ENGINEERS hunt elephants by going to Africa, catching gray animals at random, and stopping when any one of them weighs within plus or minus 15 percent of any previously observed elephant. ECONOMISTS don’t hunt elephants, but they believe that if elephants are paid enough, they will hunt themselves. STATISTICIANS hunt … Continue reading

Tiger’s ego

There was this tiger who woke up one morning and just felt great. He felt so good, he went out and cornered a small monkey and roared at him, “Who is the mightiest of all the jungle animals!?!” And this poor quaking little monkey replied, “You are of course, no … Continue reading

Number Trick

PICK a number from 1 – 9 SUBTRACT 5 MULTIPLY by 3 SQUARE it ADD up the DIGITS until you get only one digit (i.e. 64 = 6+4 = 10 = 1+0 = 1) IF your NUMBER is less than 5, then add 5 … otherwise subtract 4 MULTIPLY by … Continue reading

More Stupid American Laws

These are real standing laws from around the United States of America. Hope you enjoy them and remember, Law Enforcement is no joke! Alabama It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle. California Community leaders passed an ordinance that makes it illegal for anyone to … Continue reading

hunting elephants

HOW TO HUNT ELEPHANTS Mathematicians hunt elephants by going to Africa, throwing out everything that is not an elephant, and catching one of whatever is left. Professors of mathematics prove the existence of at least one elephant and leave the capture of an actual elephant as an exercise for one … Continue reading

100 Ways to Confuse Your Roommate

Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your roommate eats meat. Then leave “Slim Jim” wrappers on the floor and lie on the bed holding your stomach everytime your roommate walks in. If he/she asks about the wrappers, say you know nothing about them. Get some hair. Disperse … Continue reading

Smurf Sex

A Joke not suitable for readers under the age of 18.

It’s time to tell the truth about Smurfs. You see, Smurfs are a lot like other folks; they have dreams and ambitions, deep, thoughtful conversations with each other, and good and bad times. “But,” people ask, “do Smurfs have….. you know,…… sex?” The answer is an emphatic and resounding YES! And … Continue reading

Humorously Translated Signs From Around The World

In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency: Take one of our horse-driven city tours – we guarantee no miscarriages. Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand: Would you like to ride on your own ass? In a Swiss mountain inn: Special today — no ice cream. In a Bangkok temple: It is forbidden … Continue reading

Points to ponder.

Things that make you go hmmm… 1. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation? 2. Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow? Only to be troubled and insecure? 3. Is there another word for … Continue reading

beyond the beltway

The Washington Post January 01, 1996 Beyond the Beltway 1995; You Thought Things Were Strange Here — by Ken Ringle, Washington Post Staff Writer You say you guessed right on O.J., kept up with Bosnia, figured out the federal budget impasse and even beat the spread on both Redskins-Cowboys games, … Continue reading