Drugs Education

Two cops were assigned to the local schools. Their job was to get the students to sign a pledge not to do drugs. After about two weeks their supervisor called them into his office. Why? he asked Do you have such a difference in success? Cop 1 is only signing … Continue reading

Cloning Questions

Results of the Washington Post Style Invitational, in which readers were asked to come up with intriguing questions to be considered by President Clinton’s special commission to study the moral and practical effects of cloning: Are the pope and his clone both infallible? What if they disagree about something? Can … Continue reading

Top 10 Reasons To Date a Computer Geek

0000 You don’t have to worry about X-girlfriends 0001 You know they’ll be up all night long. 0010 They take virus protection seriously. 0011 They’re just like a network, they often go down on you. 0100 They don’t BYTE (but they do NIBBLE a little) 1010 They may just live … Continue reading

What is the Information Superhighway?

Q: What is the Information Superhighway? A: It’s just like the internet, except: o it’s a lot more expensive. o you can’t post and there’s no killfile. o there’s no alt.sex.* or alt.drugs o rec.humor.funny has a laugh track. o there’s a commercial break every 10 minutes. o everything is … Continue reading

Quotes By Women

I feel convinced that a girl would never let herself be brought to the altar, no, she would probably refuse completely, if she knew *everything*… — Queen Victoria I married below my standards – all women do. — Nancy Astor You meet a lot of smart guys with stupid wives, … Continue reading

Smurf; Biological Reproduction and Cultural Development

One of the great mysteries that has puzzled men and women of the current 15-25 year-old generation is the riddle of the smurfs. Where exactly did they come from? How on earth do they reproduce? Where did Papa Smurf come from? Is smucking a real smurf cultural event? Here, after … Continue reading

Steven Wright Quotes and One-Liners

Steven Wright: When I was growing up, my parents had a quick-sandbox. I was an only child… eventually. I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering. I put instant coffee in the microwave and almost went back in time. I used to have a dog. I named him … Continue reading

Twenty Newsgroups You Can Actually Visit On The Internet…

alt.adjective.noun.verb.verb.verb alt.alien.visitors alt.american.olympian.choke.choke.choke alt.bad.clams alt.barney.dinosaur.die.die.die alt.bigfoot alt.binaries.sounds-armpit.noises alt.bitterness alt.bob-packwood.tongue.tongue.tongue alt.butt.harp alt.cows.moo.moo.moo alt.devilbunnies alt.fan.debbie.gibson alt.pantyhose alt.religion.wombat alt.sex.boredom alt.spank.tonya.harding alt.timewasters alt.binary.pictures.furry alt.tv.90210.sucks.sucks.sucks

Government Contracting Definitions

CONTRACTOR — A gambler who never gets to shuffle, cut or deal. BID OPENING — A poker game in which the losing hand wins. BID — A wild guess carried out to two decimal places. LOW BIDDER — A contractor who is wondering what he left out of his bid. … Continue reading

Business Joke

TEST YOUR BUSINESS SENSE – thanks to Pat Snider and Gary Guibor You are a major defense contractor, and you are building a gun for the Army that is supposed to be able to shoot down enemy planes. So far, the taxpayers have paid you nearly $2 billion for it, … Continue reading