Laws of Nature (1 of 2)

If nobody uses it, there’s a reason. Interchangeable parts won’t. Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana. You never find a lost article until you replace it. You get the most of what you need the least. Ralph’s Observation It is a mistake to allow any … Continue reading

Microsoft Song

(Sung to the tune of ‘Money For Nothing’ By Dire Straits.) I don’t want, I don’t want, Don’t want Mi-cro-soft C(Tm), I don’t want, I don’t want, Don’t want Mi-cro-soft C(Tm), Now look at that yoyos, That’s the way you do it, Errors for nothing, And your bugs for free. … Continue reading

blind dates

MORE THAN FIFTEEN WAYS TO GET RID OF BLIND DATES (and other social catastrophes) 1. At dinner, guard your plate with fork and steak knife, so as to give the impression that you’ll stab anyone, including the waiter, who reaches for it. 2. Collect the salt shakers from all of … Continue reading

Microsoft Technical Support Line

Heard this on NPR’s Car Talk program: A small commuter airplane is approaching Seattle. Fog envelopes the plane, and the pilot becomes disoriented. Obviously confused, he struggles to regain course without success. He decides to lose some altitude, and there in the fog appears a large building! Pilot decides to … Continue reading

50 Fun Things Todo in a Final That Doesn’t Matter

You are going to fail the class completely no matter what you get on the final exam, so: Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say “oh geez, better get cracking” and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes … Continue reading

If an OS ran your Airplane

If an O/S Ran Your Airplane DOS Airline: Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again, then they push again, jump on again and so on. DOS with QEMM Airline: The same thing but with more … Continue reading