Top 10 New Slogans For ValueJet Airlines

Safety inspections…we don’t need no stinkin’ safety inspections. We cut back on maintenance so we can pass the savings along to you. The official airline of the Hemlock Society. Experience the Everglades up close. Our pilots are younger than our planes. Our fares are almost as low as our cruising … Continue reading

Humorously Translated Signs From Around The World

In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency: Take one of our horse-driven city tours – we guarantee no miscarriages. Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand: Would you like to ride on your own ass? In a Swiss mountain inn: Special today — no ice cream. In a Bangkok temple: It is forbidden … Continue reading

The Different Kinds of Computer Viruses

Ross Perot Virus -Activates every component in your system, just before the whole thing quits. Mario Cuomo Virus -It would be a great virus, but it refuses to run. Oprah winfrey Virus -Your 200 MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands back up to 200 MB. AT & T … Continue reading

things that you don’t want to here on an airlpane

THINGS YOU DON’T WANT TO OVERHEAR OVER AN AIRLINE P.A. SYSTEM 1. Ocean crossing flight: This is your Captain speaking, I just wanted to take this time to remind you that your seat cushions can be used as floatation devices… 2. Hey folks, we’re going to play a little game … Continue reading

If an OS ran your Airplane

If an O/S Ran Your Airplane DOS Airline: Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again, then they push again, jump on again and so on. DOS with QEMM Airline: The same thing but with more … Continue reading

Excerpts from the LA Times

In The News – Excerpts from the LA Times (Includes some late night humor) 1996 was ushered in with a 6 foot 500 pound sphere covered with 12,000 rhinestones at Times Square in New York. Elvis lives! For those still recovering from a weekend of football, here is the bowl … Continue reading