Socialization of the Sexes

What really separates male from female is not external genitalia, nor the
lunar cycle of the female. What divides us is babies. Woman, because of some
hormonal or instinctual reason, know what to do with babies. To the female,
this is natural. For men, it’s all a mystery we never solve until the baby
has attained the age of consent, when we practice what we’ve learned over the
previous years with our grandchildren, much to the amazement of the child’s
father. An example from my life as a father:
Twenty-three years ago, my ex-wife and I had baby girl.(I’m assuming she’s
mine, although she does look a lot like our mailman) During labor at the
hospital, a husband is really as useless as an appendix. Everyone is
concerned, rightly, with the health and safety of the mother and baby. This
was my first clue: men are only necessary at the beginning of the conception
phase of the child cycle. Granted, it is the most pleasurable phase, but it
is all too short (no pun intended). At the hospital, everyone asks about the
mother and child. The father could have a sucking chest wound, and most
likely nobody would notice. This is as it should be. Our part is finished,
The next test for a new father is the first time he is left alone with his
child. When this happened to me, my darling daughter, after adding some
enchanting color and odor to a new silk shirt I was wearing, finally drifted
off into sleep. I placed her in the cradle, and sat watching this little
miracle of life sleep. She started to move her little arms and legs in what
could only be called a frantic, general way. I was frantic! Was she sick? Did
she somehow contract the plauge? I called the Doctor, and through my panic
described her wild waving of limbs and the unladylike grunting the baby was
doing. He said “She’s just dreaming. There’s nothing wrong.” Greatly
relieved, I replaced the phone, and then asked myself “What can a four day
old baby dream about? What life experience can her tiny brain be processing?
All she’s seen are breasts bigger than her head moving toward her.” That was
my second clue: My baby and I have the same dreams.

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