Signs You’ve Hired the Wrong Kid to Rake Your Leaves

  1. He charges you by the leaf
  2. Keeps asking where he should plug in his rake
  3. Picks up leaves one at a time, dips them in nacho cheese, and eats them.
  4. Says, “This’ll just take a minute,” and starts soaking your lawn with gasoline.
  5. Your neighbor calls and asks, “Who’s that naked guy chasing my dog with a rake?”
  6. Half an hour after he starts, you notice he’s sitting on your back porch.
  7. You recognize his work gloves from the O.J. Simpson trial.
  8. Comes to your door and says, “I’ve had a long talk with the leaves, and they’ve decided to stay”
  9. Constantly reminding you that he used to be famous for those “Home Alone” movies
  10. His motto: rake a leaf, do a shot
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