- CEO frequently overheard mumbling, “Eeny-Meeny-Miney-Moe.”
- Your workday consists of coming in at 10, thinking up Top Five entries with 30 of your coworkers, then leaving at 4.
- Dr. Kervorkian hired as “Transition Consultant.”
- Windows 95 shutdown screen reads, “It’s Now Safe to Start Looking for Work.”
- Company softball team downsized to chess team.
- Sudden proliferation of teen-age geek interns.
- Your boss keeps asking you when he can “show your cubicle.”
- Company president now driving a Hyundai.
- Annual company holiday bash moved from Sheraton banquet room to abandoned Fotomat booth.
- Old Milwaukee is beer of choice at company picnics.
- Guard at front desk nervously fingers his revolver whenever you pass by.
- Giant yard sale in front of corporate headquarters.
- Babes in Marketing suddenly start flirting with dorky personnel manager.
- Employee Discount Days discontinued at Ammo Attic.
- Company dental plan now consists of pliers and string.
- President begins weekly meetings, “Good morning, you ignorant bastards.”
The Top 16 Signs Your Company Is Planning A Layoff
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