Shit Happens in Other Various Ways

Yuppie Shit It’s my shit! All mine! Isn’t it beautiful?
An Employer Shit happens, and rolls down hill.
You may only shit during coffee breaks.
An Employee I’ve done my shit, so can I take the day off?
This shit’s not part of my contract.
Environmentalism Shit is biodegradable.
Political Correctness Heavily processed nutritionally-deprived biological output happens.
Heisenbergism Shit happened, we just don’t know where or how much.
Quantum Shittydynamics Shit happens only in well-defined quantities.
Einsteinism God does not play shit with the universe.
Shit is Relative.
Reaction to Seeing your Mother-in-law Relatives are Shit.
Washington I cannot tell a lie–shit happened.
Lincoln Four score and seven shits ago…
Nixon Shit didn’t happen, and if it did I din’t know anything about it.
Reagan Well, I do believe that shit happened.
I was just taking a nap.
Quayle Whye doe peepl treate mee lik shitte?
Clinton I didn’t inhale this shit.
I tried this shit before and I didn’t like it so….
Bush Read my lips; no more shit!
Wouldn’t be prudent to shit at this juncture.
This looks like foreign shit. Let Baker handle it.
This looks like domestic shit. Let Baker handle it.
This looks like campaign-related shit. Let Baker handle it.
Baker Why does Bush always dump all the shit on me?
Saddam The mother of all shit just happened to us, but at least I’m still in power.
Perot I’m sorry if I dropped you guys in this piece of shit.
McCarthyism Are you now, or have you ever been, shit?
Martin Luther King Black shit and white shit CAN coexist…
I have a shit…
Julius Caesar I came, I saw, I shitted. (Veni, Vidi, Shitty)
Kennedy Ask not what your country’s shit can do for you, but what your shit can do for your country.
John Paul Jones I have not yet begun to shit.
James Tiberius Kirk … to boldly shit where no one has shit before!
Shirley MacClaine Haven’t I seen this shit before…
Neil Armstrong One small shit for a man… One giant heap for mankind.
Shakespeare To shit or Not to shit, that is the question.
Computer Science There’s a bug somewhere in this shitttttttttttttttttttttttttt
UNIX Shit dumped.
VAX/VMS No Privilege for attempted shit.
Macintosh (Enough said)
IBM/DOS It’s shit, but it’s compatible.
Windows The same shit as DOS, only GUIer…
Cray If this code weren’t such a piece of shit, they wouldn’t NEED a supercomputer…
C It’s shit, but it’s efficient.
Fortran It’s shit, but I don’t know any better.
Cobol It’s shit, but it’s job security.
BASIC It’s shit.
Communism It’s everybody’s shit.
Marxism The rich shit exploits the poor shit, but deep down all shit is alike. Dictatorship of the shit.
Socialism The same shit happens to everyone.
Capitalism Shit happens, and it’ll cost you!
If you’re gonna sell that shit, at least make a profit.
Americanism Who gives a shit?
Materialism Whoever dies with the most shit wins.
Cannibalism Don’t eat the shit.
Vegetarianism If it happens to shit, don’t eat it.
Hedonism There’s nothing quite like a good shit.
Existentialism Shit doesn’t happen; shit is.
Shit happening is absurd.
Realism I think I need to take a shit.
Denialism What shit?
Purism If shit has to happen, let ONLY shit happen.
Procrastinationism I’ll take care of this shit … tomorrow.
Avoidanceism With all this happening, I think I’ll go shit.
Repressionism I’ll hold this shit in forever.
Fatalism Oh shit, it’s going to happen!
Surrealism Fish.
Nihilism Let’s blow this shit up!
Fetishism I love it when shit happens.
Masochism Do shit to ME.
Sadism I will shit on you!
Dyslexia Tihs happens.
Bookmark the permalink.