|Yuppie Shit||It’s my shit! All mine! Isn’t it beautiful?|
|An Employer||Shit happens, and rolls down hill.
You may only shit during coffee breaks.
|An Employee||I’ve done my shit, so can I take the day off?
This shit’s not part of my contract.
|Environmentalism||Shit is biodegradable.|
|Political Correctness||Heavily processed nutritionally-deprived biological output happens.|
|Heisenbergism||Shit happened, we just don’t know where or how much.|
|Quantum Shittydynamics||Shit happens only in well-defined quantities.|
|Einsteinism||God does not play shit with the universe.
Shit is Relative.
|Reaction to Seeing your Mother-in-law||Relatives are Shit.|
|Washington||I cannot tell a lie–shit happened.|
|Lincoln||Four score and seven shits ago…|
|Nixon||Shit didn’t happen, and if it did I din’t know anything about it.|
|Reagan||Well, I do believe that shit happened.
I was just taking a nap.
|Quayle||Whye doe peepl treate mee lik shitte?|
|Clinton||I didn’t inhale this shit.
I tried this shit before and I didn’t like it so….
|Bush||Read my lips; no more shit!
Wouldn’t be prudent to shit at this juncture.
This looks like foreign shit. Let Baker handle it.
This looks like domestic shit. Let Baker handle it.
This looks like campaign-related shit. Let Baker handle it.
|Baker||Why does Bush always dump all the shit on me?|
|Saddam||The mother of all shit just happened to us, but at least I’m still in power.|
|Perot||I’m sorry if I dropped you guys in this piece of shit.|
|McCarthyism||Are you now, or have you ever been, shit?|
|Martin Luther King||Black shit and white shit CAN coexist…
I have a shit…
|Julius Caesar||I came, I saw, I shitted. (Veni, Vidi, Shitty)|
|Kennedy||Ask not what your country’s shit can do for you, but what your shit can do for your country.|
|John Paul Jones||I have not yet begun to shit.|
|James Tiberius Kirk||… to boldly shit where no one has shit before!|
|Shirley MacClaine||Haven’t I seen this shit before…|
|Neil Armstrong||One small shit for a man… One giant heap for mankind.|
|Shakespeare||To shit or Not to shit, that is the question.|
|Computer Science||There’s a bug somewhere in this shitttttttttttttttttttttttttt|
|VAX/VMS||No Privilege for attempted shit.|
|IBM/DOS||It’s shit, but it’s compatible.|
|Windows||The same shit as DOS, only GUIer…|
|Cray||If this code weren’t such a piece of shit, they wouldn’t NEED a supercomputer…|
|C||It’s shit, but it’s efficient.|
|Fortran||It’s shit, but I don’t know any better.|
|Cobol||It’s shit, but it’s job security.|
|Communism||It’s everybody’s shit.|
|Marxism||The rich shit exploits the poor shit, but deep down all shit is alike. Dictatorship of the shit.|
|Socialism||The same shit happens to everyone.|
|Capitalism||Shit happens, and it’ll cost you!
If you’re gonna sell that shit, at least make a profit.
|Americanism||Who gives a shit?|
|Materialism||Whoever dies with the most shit wins.|
|Cannibalism||Don’t eat the shit.|
|Vegetarianism||If it happens to shit, don’t eat it.|
|Hedonism||There’s nothing quite like a good shit.|
|Existentialism||Shit doesn’t happen; shit is.
Shit happening is absurd.
|Realism||I think I need to take a shit.|
|Purism||If shit has to happen, let ONLY shit happen.|
|Procrastinationism||I’ll take care of this shit … tomorrow.|
|Avoidanceism||With all this happening, I think I’ll go shit.|
|Repressionism||I’ll hold this shit in forever.|
|Fatalism||Oh shit, it’s going to happen!|
|Nihilism||Let’s blow this shit up!|
|Fetishism||I love it when shit happens.|
|Masochism||Do shit to ME.|
|Sadism||I will shit on you!|
Shit Happens in Other Various Ways
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