SEXX Programmers Guide-C-Version

PREFACE: I am trying to write a program that enables computers
to engage in sexual intercourse with a willing and able
partner (over a LAN or the Internet?).
In order for me to do that, I must first teach the
programmers writing this code what SEX is. That can
only be done in C (C++ version coming out soon).
So, here it is, excerpts from the book titled:
“SEXX, a brief practical introduction”.
Also available are:
1) “SEXX – programmers’ HANDbook”.
2) “SEXX – programmers’ guide”.
3) “SEXX – programmers’ tools”.
4) “SEXX – programmers’ manual”.

#include “people.h”
#include “items.h”
#include “places.h”
#include “personalities.h”

procedure sexx( ListOfPeople, ListOfItems )
person *ListOfPeople;
item *ListOfItems;
{
    person *PARTNER1 = ListOfPeople,
    *PARTNER2 = ListOfPeople->nextVictim;
    sexual position; /* sexual is, of course, a special type */
    money wallet;
    int i;

    if ( LENGTH( ListOfPeople ) == 1 ) 
	{
        if ( PARTNER1->sex == MALE ) 
			{
            if ( SEARCH( ListOfItems, SexDoll ) == TRUE )
				ENJOY( PARTNER1, ArtificialT*ts, ArtificialP***y );
            else
				ENJOY( PARTNER1, YourHand );
            } 
		else /* if it’s a FEMALE */
		{
            if ( SEARCH( ListOfItems, Vi***tor ) == TRUE )
				ENJOY( PARTNER1, GoodVibrations );
            else
				ENJOY( PARTNER1, YourFinger );
        }
    } 
	else if ( LENGTH( ListOfPeople ) == 2 ) 
	{
        if ( PARTNER1->sex == MALE && PARTNER2->sex == MALE ) 
		{
            printf(“AIDS ALERT, AIDS ALERTn”);
            if ( SEARCH( ListOfItem, Condoms ) == TRUE ) 
			{
                ENJOY( PARTNER1, PARTNER2 );
                ENJOY( PARTNER2, PARTNER1 ); /* 2 wants to be on the top */
                function ORGY( ); /* See “SEXX – programmers’ guide” for more details */
			}
		}
	}
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