Redneck’s Guide to Computer Lingo

This here is the WV Redneck’s Guide to Computer Lingo

LOG ON Making the woodstove hotter
LOG OFF Don’t add no more wood
MONITOR Keepin an eye on thet woodstove
DOWNLOAD Gettin the farwood ofn the truk
MEGAHERTZ When yer not keerful gettin that farwood downloaded
FLOPPY DISK Whatca git from tryin to carry too much farwood
RAM That thar thang whut splits th farwood
HARD DRIVE Gettin home in the winter taim
PROMP Whut th mail ain’t in th winter taim
WINDOWS Whut to shut when its cold outside
SCREEN Whut to shut when its blak fly season
CHIP Munchies fer th TV
MICRO CHIP Whuts left in th munchie bag
INFRARED Whur th left over munchies go, Fred eats em
MODEM Whatca did to the hay fields
DOT MATRIX Ol Dan Matrix’s wife
LAPTOP Whur th kitty sleeps
KEYBOARD Whur ya hang th dang keys
SOFTWARE Them dang plastik forks and knifs
MOUSE What eats th grain in th barn
MAIN FRAME Holds up th barn ruf
PORT Fancy Flatlander Wine
ENTER Northern fer c’mon in y’all
RANDOM ACCESS MEMORY When yo cain’t member whut ya paid for yer new rifle when your wife asks
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