Reality (Femidom)

If you’ve been keeping up with the latest developments in contraceptive technology, you know that a new female condom was put on the U.S. market last year. For those of you who can’t imagine it, the female condom looks something like a small latex windsock with a flexible ring at either end, and is roughly twice the size and twice the thickness of your run-of-the-mill male condom. In the United Kingdom and Canada, the contraption is known as “Femidom,” but in the U.S., under the auspices of Wilson Pharmaceuticals, the female condom is marketed as “Reality.” Terribly undescriptive brand name, but then again this probably makes it less of an embarrassment to advertise. “Buy yourself a Reality, you never know when it might come in handy.”

Because the idea of a female condom is so foreign to most, Reality comes with a detailed instruction booklet that doubles, if you read it with any sense of humour, as philosophical advice. Some excerpts:

  • Use a new Reality with each and every sex act.
  • Read instructions carefully before using Reality.
  • The booklet explains how to use Reality.
  • Don’t tear Reality.
  • Reality only works when you use it.
  • Make sure Reality is not twisted after insertion.
  • Reality should not be noisy during sex.
  • Reality may shift during sex.
  • Keep Reality out of the reach of children.

Also, I would add, in the spirit of contraception, that “Life could get very complicated if you lose track of your Reality.”

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