Practical Jokes

  1. Fill your victim’s pillow with shaving cream and put slashes through the top of the case. When his/her head hits the pillow, all the shaving cream will go through the slits and cover your friends head.
  2. An old standard…if your victim falls asleep face up with a hand out, put shaving cream in his/her hand. Then tickle their nose with a feather and let their instincts do the rest.
  3. Put iodine tablets in the shower head…or jello mix…both work really good.
  4. Remove the bedsprings from the mattress. When the person goes to bed, the mattress will slip right through the frame.
  5. Buy about 10 glad bags full of those styrofoam peanuts. “Borrow” someone’s car keys when they aren’t looking, and bring 3 or 4 strong people with you. Close all the windows and lock all the doors except the drivers side. Have as many people as you need tip the car and hold it so it doesn’t fall while you fill the car with those peanuts through the open driver’s door. Close the door, gently put the car down, and quietly put the car keys back. Act none the wiser when your friend throws a shit fit when he/she finds their car full of styrofoam. You can rest assured that all the peanuts will never come out of the car. Try not to laugh the next time you are in the car and peanuts come rolling out from under the seat.
  6. Same idea as 5…different material. Get a five gallon bucket of styrofoam beads that are not expanded and a bottle of activator fluid. Dump the beads into the car. Quickly empty the bottle of fluid into the car, close the door and run! The inside of the car is now a solid block of styrofoam.
  7. “Captain’s log: Stardate 2734.3. ‘I am nailed to the hull.'”
  8. You know all those 1)800 numbers on T.V.? No, not the phone sex 1)900…the numbers that are selling everything from the “Collection of the Best Love Songs Ever Written” to Ginsu knives to the Ronco pocket fisherman! Order everything in your mark’s name…most of them will deliver P.O.D. About a week later, the mark will be screaming about who the fuck is sending him Elvis Commemorative Dinner Plates and the Bamboo Steamer.
  9. We pulled this one on two girls in college. They went to pick up their parents at the airport for Parent’s Weekend. We carded our way into their room (American Express…never leave home without it!) and completely switched the sides of the room. Everything from their posters to the contents of their drawers and closets. You should have heard it! (“And this is our…wait a minute…I thought I was…and weren’t you over…what the hell?”)
  10. A friend of mine stayed down at school over the winter break one time. While everyone else was at home for Christmas, he went out to the lumber yard, bought studs, sheetrock, and paint, and walled over a friend’s dorm room door. It was completely gone! How would you like to return to school to find your dorm room missing?
  11. Two guys in our corridor were the mail people for the hall and would frequently raid our care packages from home for goodies. Well, we waited until they were at a long lecture, and we carded our way in and completely emptied their room into the kitchenette down the hall. We set it up to look just like their room. When they came back and found their room empty, and then went to the kitchenette and found us sleeping on their beds, wearing their clothes, etc….I wish I had a picture.
  12. If you know someone who lives in a house with a garage, bring those three our four strong people who helped you with the styrofoam peanuts, and lay in wait for the unfortunate person to leave his garage door open AND park the car in the garage AND go in for dinner. Quietly slip into the garage and lift the car and rotate it 90 degrees. Imagine walking into your garage for a quick trip to the store and seeing your car parked in this position.
  13. Here’s an improvement on #10 thanks to a group of adventurous R.A.’s. They took newspaper, water, and flour and made some paper mache. They then got some fencing, put it in a fellow R.A.’s doorway, and covered the fencing with the mache, which walled over the guy’s door. They went a step further and moved a billboard that was hanging in the hall to where his door was supposed to be. They also removed his picture from the display case downstairs. The idea was to completely eliminate any hint of his existence. They wanted to change the number plates on the doorways so the numbers would not skip, but by the time that had been thought of, the door had already been walled over. Anyway, then the female wing RA declared herself emperor since there was no more competition.
  14. Here’s a good technical one. Look up “Cryogenics” in the phone book and go there and buy a couple liters of liquid nitrogen (@$1.80 per liter) and a styrofoam cooler. Take about three cans of shaving cream and put them along with the liquid nitrogen in the cooler and close the lid. Once the can and contents are frozen, put on a pair of thick rubber gloves and eye goggles, and using a pair of pliers, peel off the can and put the now frozen block of un)expanded shaving cream back in the nitrogen. Then take the cooler with you to the mark’s car, take the three blocks of shaving cream and put them inside it and close the door. Three cans should be enough to pressurize a small car. I can just imagine someone trying to figure out how someone piped that much shaving cream into their car.
  15. This one requires the cooperation of every student in a class. Everyone should simply be a bit louder, more restless, when the teacher is on the right side of the board than when he/she is on the left. By the end of the semester, the teacher was writing in the bottom left hand corner of the board.
  16. Another good way to control a teacher…when he/she is on the left side, the people on the right should pay more attention to them. When they’re on the other side, the class gradually shifts the attention to the left. You can keep some of them walking back and forth for the duration of the class.
  17. If you take a record album cover and fill it full of shaving cream, the slot end still fits under a door. If you then slam a big book on it, say like a calculus text, the shaving cream goes under the door, into the room, with good velocity and disperses over a fairly large angle, making a huge mess. ***NOTE*** If you are in your room and you see an album cover coming under the door, go to the door and stand on the end. This will cause the reverse effect, and will cover the prankster instead. If you are quiet enough, they will think they screwed up and may even try again.
  18. For an instant dust storm, blow dry a pile of baby powder under someone’s door. Winter cometh.
  19. Paper up the outside of a dorm room’s door frame with newspaper, and then fill the void between the newspaper and the door with popcorn. When the person gets up for their shower the next day…
  20. Rather than newspaper on the doorframe, use some Saran Wrap. Tape some strips across, making sure not to leave any wrinkles. Be careful to leave the bottom part of the door uncovered to avoid the suction effect. I need not explain what happens to a person accidentally walking into an invisible wall. For best results, try it the morning after a really alcohol-laden night.
  21. A variant of the paper on the door is to quietly stack empty pop or beer cans in the doorway. When the mark comes out in the morning, the vacuum caused by the inward opening door makes a huge clatter.
  22. Take the receiver from a phone apart and grate garlic on the inside of the transmitter cover. Have several people call and say something like, “Wow, your breath stinks…what have you been eating?”
  23. Completely empty someone’s room and re-assemble it out in the quad.
  24. After learning how to easily pick locks, it is possible to enter someone’s room and move all the furniture an inch every day. When you come back to move it the next day, it’s all back in place again. And then you move everything again…
  25. Take some Saran Wrap and cover the top of an empty drinking glass. Stretch it really good and cut the edges with an X-Acto knife or razor blade (it will stay). After spilling their drinks around the sides of the glass or bouncing their ice cubes, a lot of different reactions take place: some people turn the glass over and try again, some people look around, …
  26. If you have a chemistry class, when you have to work with some chemical that you and your lab partner have not worked with before, tell your lab partner that your last lab partner in high school got his/her face burned off because they let it overheat. This is of course assuming you will be working with bunsen burners…duh! Then, when your partner is watching the temperature really close, sneak up behind them with a paper bag filled with air…you know the rest.
  27. Again for science students…if your science class works with a generator of some type, sneak into the lab at night. Wire the generator to the metal screws in someone’s desk. The next day when they sit down….ZZZZZZZAAAAAPPP!
  28. Put dry ice in a toilet, add bubble bath, the cut open one of those green Kryptonite-looking glow sticks (carefully) and pour the contents into the now frothing toilet bowl. Unscrew the bathroom lightbulb. Imagine the surprise of a mark who, coming into the darkened bathroom late at night and perhaps drunk, finds a horrible green glowing, frothing mass pouring from the john.
  29. At night, when your friend/victim comes home, before the dew settles, take ordinary white flour and sprinkle all over the car. Makes one helluva mess by morning, but does no damage and can be washed off easily. ***WARNING*** Do not do this to a ragtop car…IT WILL DO DAMAGE!
  30. This is a harmless one. Take all the old dead “D” cell batteries you can find, and toss them on the roof of someone’s house during the night. They land with a crash, then they bump down the shingles ’til they hit the gutter. Several times we heard screams coming from within the house! (The person who actually did this said ‘maybe you had to be there’)
  31. Take some ordinary speaker wire and put some alligator clips on each end. If you don’t know enough about cars you may need some help with this, but then crawl under someone’s car and wire the brakelights to the horn. Every time he/she steps on the brakes, they’ll look around and say, “Who is that honking?” He kept getting these angry looks, and finally we cracked up and spoiled the joke.
  32. This from an ingenious guy at Stanford. He lived across from a triple room of girls. He carded into their room and secreted a number of small, wireless speakers in a variety of hiding places around their room. When they returned, he was across the hall in his room with a microphone. The girls were mightily perturbed when a strange voice began addressing them from thin air. Mighty clever with concealing those mikes too…he had to hear them! The girls never discovered them, and I think he “bugged” them for the better part of two quarters.
  33. Pour flour into someone’s blowdryer…not too much, just about one tablespoon full. They get out of the shower, with hair all wet and…POOF…they become Beetlejuice.
  34. From Ohio State…some dweeb left for a couple of weeks during term. He liked to get up at some obscene hour and did not turn his alarm off before leaving. Everyday, it howled for an hour before reseting itself for the next day. Finally, the neighbors carded into the room and shut the damn thing off. The next night a whole group of them sat down with a box of paper and ripped and shredded for about two hours. They then proceeded to stuff everything with the paper. Every sock, drawer, pocket, cup, the bed, cassette boxes(not all of them…just enough to make him worry), between pages of books, the egg tray…you get the idea. When the dweeb came back, he sits on the bed and hears “CRUNCH”. He then laid back, forgetting to check the pillow. “CRUNCH”. Getting paranoid, he checked the fridge…”WHOOSH!” Everyone is home for the summer now. They like to think he is still finding pieces of paper everywhere.
  35. As far as showers go, how about sneaking into the water room and shutting off the water when everyone is all soaped up? Or just the hot water part?
  36. For a minor inconvenience, try smearing vaseline on the windshield wipers. Next time it rains, wah-la! Instant smearstorm! If your friend has double wipers, the more the merrier. You can use up a whole can of vaseline on just one wiper. Wow! And to think it will last for months!
  37. Take a vacuum and un-screw the ON/OFF switch and remove the wire that makes the switch work. Tie a knot in the cord aboutfive feet away from the vacuum end. Go to a person’s room who is trusting and sleeps with his door unlocked. Quietly put the vacuum inside, slipping the cord under the door with the knot just on the outside. Close the door and penny the mark in. Then go plug in the vacuum and sit back and enjoy. The person will try to un-plug it, then when that doesn’t work, will throw the switch to turn it off, and when that doesn’t work, will go and try to open the door. At the sound of their scream, un-plug it. Wait 30 minutes and repeat. ***DISCLAIMER*** This trick is not completely safe…some hosehead may try to disconnect the switch and electrocute himself.
  38. Make a photocopy of a some shocking or disgusting photo, something that would embarrass somebody, and put the paper back in the copiers paper supply, down about a dozen sheets. Chances are, page 3 of the fourth guys memo will be way less boring than all the other pages on all the copies of the memo.
  39. “Captain’s log: Stardate 2841.9. ‘Today I dreamed I turned into a Klingon…then woke up in bed with a hangover…and a Klingon.'”
  40. Let’s say someone you know is about to do some visual presentation. Take the same disgusting photo and put it down in the pile of his notes. During the lecture, no one will know why the mark started choking and laughing un-controllably when he got to page five.
  41. We did this one to our choir director when we were in Germany. We were doing a concert for this small town and we felt we needed to liven “Doc” Wabrick up, so we slipped a naked picture of a 500 pound woman inside the front cover of “Ave Maria”, the third song. We finished singing song #2, Doc opened Ave Maria, turned bright red, started chuckling, and quietly said to us, “You sons of bitches…” He got us back…at the end of song #4, we were supposed to hold a note for 8 counts. He made us hold it for 24.
  42. Here’s another joke we played on good old “Doc”. Let’s say you have a buddy in the tenor section who has a solo during a song, like we did. When Doc pointed at Tim to sing, the entire baritone section came in instead.
  43. Take a large garbage can into an elevator and fill it with whatever you care to add (soap with chicken livers, hearts, etc., I’m told works well). The said can is tipped forward when the doors close, so when the next person to use the elevator opens the door…
  44. Card your way into your buddy’s room with a mannequin and some rope. Hang it from a noose out his window. You WILL get a response!
  45. If you don’t mind spending a few bucks, here’s a good one. Most people wash their colors separate from their whites separate from their underwear. Find out exactly what size this person wears, go buy roughly the amount they usually put in and some pink dye. When they leave the laundry room, take their stuff out, put it in another machine(remember, we’re making and keeping friends here!), and then put your bought stuff into that washer with the dye. Let them freak about all their whites being turned white until your sides ache from laughing then let them off the hook.
  46. Feeling nasty? Pick a buddy who has a girlfriend and recruit another female to help you. Wait until he is in his room without her, preferably with other people. Have the recruited female call and say, “_________, I…I…I…I’m pregnant!!! (crying noises, etc.)” This happened to someone down the hall my junior year. Ye gods, he was out of the room in less than a minute to see his girlfriend.
  47. Take an onion, cut it up, then throw it into the dryer. Hooooooeeeeee!
  48. Get a balloon and put some crushed dry ice in it and tie off the end. If you know what someone is going to wear that day, stuff the balloon in his back pocket before he puts it on. As the dry ice evaporates, slowly it will inflate the balloon, and the victim’s butt will transform into interesting shapes without them noticing. Once they do notice, which is when they are sitting down in class, the balloon is too large to take out without making a stir.
  49. Use clear scotch tape to tape down the handle on the sprayer nozzle on the kitchen sink. Take care to point the sprayer toward where someone would stand while turning on the faucet. Great effect…instant face full of water as soon as the faucet is turned on.
  50. If you have a roommate who gets up before you do, this one’s good…Wait until the mark has gone to bed and is soundly sleeping. Set every clock you have forward one hour. This includes watches, car clocks, VCR clocks, all alarms, everything that indicates a time. Usually they wind up at class before they realize what is going on.
  51. Finally, a high school chemistry teacher’s revenge…he was doing a demonstration with liquid nitrogen and was explaining how to safely handle the stuff. He proceeded to put on heavy rubber gloves and then placed his thumb in the nitrogen. After about a minute he took his thumb out and proceeded to thump it on the table to prove that it was frozen solid. Then he pulled out a hammer and began pounding his thumb until the glove split and “thumb” started spraying everywhere. Only after the entire class was staring with their mouths open did he reveal that he stuffed a hot dog into the glove and folded his thumb over his
  52. Break open one of those bean-bag-balls and pour about a cupful down the heater/air conditioner duct of the victim’s vehicle. Simulated snowstorm the next time the fan is turned on.
  53. Wet down all of someone’s underwear and freeze it into one big lump.
  54. Here’s one if you are really bored…put some hydrogen peroxide in a jar and catch a fly and add him to the jar. Once the fly is asleep, take a hair about five inches long and tie it to one of the fly’s legs. Then take a small strip of lightweight paper and attach it to the other end of the hair. On the paper should be an advertisement such as “For a good time call…”. When the fly awoke, it would fly around, very slowly, but the paper will stream behind similar to the advertising banners carried by old crop dusters.
  55. There was a student room next to a bathroom. The pranksters diddled with the wiring of the room and the bathroom so that the light switch in each controlled the lights in both, i.e. if one switch was on the other was on too. You can watch from the outside windows when someone goes to bed and unwittingly turns out the lights in the bathroom. The person in the bathroom swears and turns them back on. The person in the room turns them off again. This alternates for a while: ON, OFF, ON, OFF, etc., getting faster and faster, until both people are standing by the switches flicking them on and off as fast as they can. Eventually, they figure out what’s going on.
  56. Here’s a good way to bother guys who have women in their rooms. You plant a soccer ball in front of their door and kick the ball squarely into the door as hard as you can. The ball gets caught between the door and the opposite wall and bounces back and forth a good number of times before the occupant (with rapidly diminishing lump in shorts) emerges red)faced and quite finished.
  57. Take a bowling ball, grease it up real good with vaseline, including the holes, and place it holes down in a toilet. Makes for a real good couples activity.
  58. Take a concrete block, about 20 lbs., pack it up in a cardboard box using plenty of nylon packing tape and mail it to someone you know has to walk a good distance to get their mail. Take care to use their parents address as the return address, insure the package for $1,000 and put $.50 postage on it. The mark will get to the post office, find a heavy package that he can’t open, but figures it’s worth a lot because it’s from mom and dad and is insured for $1,000. Carries it all the way back to where he/she lives before finding out what the package held.
  59. One fraternity ordered their pledges to down 15 bushels of long, green onions in 10 minutes. Only 3 guys puked. Then they had to find a girl and tell her a bedtime story nose-to-nose.
  60. The same fraternity took 15 pledges off campus, heads covered by pillowcases, out to the edge of a forest. The actives took all the pledges clothes except shoes and underwear and tied their hands together. They then took off, telling the pledges to find their own way back to campus. Once out of the forest, there they were in the middle of a city, 15 guys in their underwear, holding hands.
  61. A guy filled a friend’s cabinet (the shelf kind over the desk!) with those styrofoam packing things so that when the guy opened it, they’d fall out all over the place. But someone warned this guy, so he came in late the night before the gag and emptied the packing things out of the cabinet. The next day, the guy who perpetrated the joke came in and hung around the guy’s office, waiting for him to open the cabinet. The intended mark would make a move to open it, and then decide to do something else instead. Finally, he let the guy off the hook by opening it up and blowing the joke.
  62. “Captain’s log: Stardate 3010.4. “Was ready to do my laundry when it disappeared suddenly. Found out it was accidentally beamed over to a passing Vulcan ship…they fed it to the dogs on board.”
  63. I got home from class one day to find that the Christmas Tree that was in the lobby of the dorm had been moved to my room. I had to do a double take before I could convince myself that I actually saw it there.
  64. Even construction workers can have fun. One worker walked over to his partner, who was working with a rookie and said that he thought the wall they were working on was too short. He stepped back and looked at it and decided this was true. They discussed and decided that it would be easy to fix if they had a ‘wall stretcher’. The rookie, hearing the conversation, thought nothing when they asked him to drive a couple blocks down to another site and borrow one. This should have embarrassed the rookie, but when he asked if they had one, they said ‘SURE’. They went out to their truck and dug around until they found something that would work. The rookie came back with some winch thingie that must have weighed at least 40 pounds. The partners looked at each other, wondering what they should say, trying not to crack up as the joke wasn’t working as they had planned. A few minutes later the other crew drove up and yelled from the street, “You didn’t think we had one, did you?” This is when the rookie finally realized he’d been duped.
  65. Here’s a variation on #64. On board a ship, a chief will send a new sailor to go find ’50 feet of fallopian tube’ or ‘2 gallons of ball-bearing grease’…neither of which exist. The thing that makes it work is the whole ship knows about it, so when Joe Q. Squid shows up on the galley with his request, they send him to the flight deck, the flight deck sends him to the engine room, and so on…
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