More Things Todo To Your Roomate

  • Ever time you enter the room, sit in a chair, lean back too far, and fall over backwards. Laugh hysterically for about ten minutes. Then, one day, repeat the falling over exercise, but instead of laughing, get up, look at the chair sternly, and say, “It’s not funny anymore“.
  • Every time you the phone rings, turn on the stereo at full volume and begin to violently slam-dance with your roommate. If he/she asks about it, say, “Oh, that damn hypnotist“.
  • Wear glasses and complain that you can never see anything. Bump into walls and doors. Put your clothes on backwards. Say, “Who’s that?” every time your roommate enters the room. When you are not wearing glasses, act like you can see fine.
  • Wear scary Halloween masks. Look in the mirror and scream hysterically for about five minutes every time you put one on.
  • Put headphones on your roommate while she/he is sleeping, and subliminally teach him/her to speak Spanish, play the trombone, and memorize all the major exports and imports of each African nation.
  • Never speak to your roommate directly. If you need to ask or tell him/her something, go to another room and call him/her on the phone.
  • Make brown-bag lunches for your roommate every morning. Give them to him/her before he/she goes to class.
  • Put up traffic signs around the room. If your roommate doesn’t obey them, give her/him tickets. Confiscate something your roommate owns until she/he pays the tickets.
  • Rollerskate up and down the hallway. Every time you see your roommate, crash into him/her and knock him/her down. Apologize and say that she/he looked like the enemy.
  • Get a can of beans. Label them “Jumping Beans”. Eat them, and jump around the room. get another can of beans. Label them “Dancing Beans”. Eat them and dance around the room. Get yet another can of beans. Label them “Kill Your Roommate Beans”. Eat them, smiling at your roommate.
  • Complain that your elbows, knees, and other joints have been bothering you. Get a screwdriver and pretend to fix them.
  • Insist that your roommate sing With you every morning at 5 am.
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