Light Bulbs and College Students

How many George Washington students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Five–one to change the lightbulb, and four to complain that, for the money they’re paying, someone damn well ought to change the lightbulb for them.

How many Carnegie Mellon students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Four –one to design a fusion-powered one that never needs changing, one to figure out how to power the rest of Pittsburgh using that lightbulb, one to install it, and one to write the computer code that controls the wall switch.

How many MIT students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Three— one to call CMU to see how they did it, one to screw it in, and one to take the credit

How many Princeton students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two—one to mix the martinis and one to call the electrician.

How many Brown students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Eleven—one to change the lightbulb and ten to share the experience.

How many Dartmouth students does it take to change a lightbulb?
None—Hanover doesn’t have electricity.

How many Cornell students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two–One to change the lightbulb and one to crack under the pressure.

How many Penn students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Only one, but he gets six credits for it.

How many Columbia students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Seventy-six–one to change the lightbulb, fifty to protest the lightbulb’s right to not change, and twenty-five to hold a counter-protest.

How many Yale students does it take to change a lightbulb?
None–New Haven looks better in the dark.

How many Harvard students does it take to change a lightbulb?
One–he holds the bulb and the world revolves around him

How many Vassar students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Eleven–One to screw it and ten to support its sexual orientation

How many Middlebury students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Five–One to change the lightbulb and four to find the perfect J. Crew outfit to wear for the occasion.

How many Wellesley students does it take to change a lightbulb?
The whole student body–girls can’t do anything right.

How many Stanford students does it take to change a lightbulb?
One, dude.

How many Oberlin students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Three–One to change it and two to figure out how to get high off the old one.

How many Georgetown students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Four–One to change it, one to call Congress about their progress, and two to throw the old bulb at American U. students.

How many Duke students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A whole frat–but only one of them is sober enough to get the bulb out of the socket.

How many Williams students does it take to change a lightbulb?
The whole student body–when you’re snowed in, there’s nothing else to do.

How many Tufts students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two–One to change the bulb and the other to say loudly how he did it as well as an Ivy League student.

How many Sarah Lawrence students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Five–One to change the bulb and four to do an interpretive dance about it.

How many Swarthmore students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Eight–It’s not that one isn’t smart enough to do it, it’s just that they’re all violently twitching from too much stress.

How many Mount Holyoke students does it take to change a lightbulb?
One–she calls a Smithie to do it.

How many Smith students does it take to change a lightbulb?
One–all you need is one hot woman and you’ll never have a heterosexual lightbulb again.

How many Boston University students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Four–One to change the bulb and two to check his math homework.

How many Amherst students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Thirteen–One to change the bulb and an a capella group to immortalize the event in song.

How many Wesleyan students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Wesleyan’s boycotting GE . . . you know, military-industrial complex and all that.

How many Connecticut College students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two–One to change the bulb and one to complain about how if they were at better school the lightbulb wouldn’t go out.

How many Bucknell students does it take to change a lightbulb?
One–but he’ll only change it if he can put in a white-light bulb.

How many Bowdoin students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Three–One to ski down to the general store and buy the bulb, one to take the chairlift back to school, and one to screw it in.

How many Bard students does it take to change a lightbulb?
One–but she’ll only do it if it’s an alternative light bulb.

How many Boston College students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Seven–One to change the light bulb and six to throw a party because he didn’t screw it in upside down this time.

How many Reed students does it take to change a lightbulb?
One–and she doesn’t even need a ladder because she has platform Birkenstocks.

How many Beloit students does it take to change a lightbulb?
five- one to do it and four that were so high they could only pass the bulb.

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