Letterman top ten

Letterman’s: TOP TEN WAYS TO GET DUMB GUYS TO VOTE FOR YOU
10) Promise to replace presidential limo with monster truck.
9) Pass out campaign buttons and say “Look, free shiny things!”
8) Promise that if you win, you’ll help them get the mouse
traps off their feet.
7) In “Nightline” interview, keep calling Ted Koppel “Mr.
Snapple.”
6) Say you’ll bomb the ever-lovin’ shorts off every country
whose name ain’t spelled U-S-A.
5) Promise to publish a “Where’s Waldo” book in which the only
thing on each page is Waldo.
4) Put bucket on head. Wander around mall parking lot.
3) New campaign slogan: “Uhhhhh….”
2) Begin every speech with, “I am like a box of chocolates!”
1) Free circus tickets. (“Late Show,” CBS, 11/7)

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