Laws of Nature (1 of 2)

  • If nobody uses it, there’s a reason.
  • Interchangeable parts won’t.
  • Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana.
  • You never find a lost article until you replace it.
  • You get the most of what you need the least.
Ralph’s Observation It is a mistake to allow any mechanical object to realize that you are in a hurry.
Cole’s Law Thinly sliced cabbage
Firestone’s Law of Forcasting Chicken Little only has to be right once.
Manly’s Maxim Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.
Moer’s truism The trouble with most jobs is the job holder’s resemblence to being one of a sled dog team. No one gets a change of scenery except the lead dog.
Cannon’s Comment If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.
MURPHY’S LAW If anything can go wrong, it will.
Murphy’s Corollary Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.
Murphy’s Corollary It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious
Murphy’s Constant Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value
Quantized Revision of Murphy’s Law Everything goes wrong all at once.
O’Toole’s Commentary Murphy was an optimist.
Scott’s Second Law When an error has been detected and corrected, it will be found to have been correct in the first place.
Finagle’s First Law If an experiment works, something has gone wrong.
Finagle’s Second Law No matter what the experiment’s result, there will always be someone eager to:

  1. misinterpret it.
  2. fake it. or
  3. believe it supports his own pet theory.
Finagle’s Third Law In any collection of data, the figure most obviously correct, beyond all need of checking, is the mistake.
Finagle’s Fourth Law Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it only makes it worse.
Gumperson’s Law The probability of anything happening is in inverse ratio to its desirability.
Rudin’s Law In crises that force people to choose among alternative courses of action, most people will choose the worst one possible.
Ginsberg’s Restatement of the Three Laws of Thermodynamics
  • You can’t win.
  • You can’t break even.
  • You can’t quit.
Ehrman’s Commentary Things will get worse before they will get better. Who said things would get better?
Commoner’s Second Law of Ecology Nothing ever goes away.
Howe’s Law Everyone has a scheme that will not work.
Zymurgy’s First Law of Evolving Systems Dynamics Once you open a can of worms, the only way to recan them is to use a bigger can.
Non-Reciprocal Law of Expectations Negative expectations yield negative results.
Positive expectations yield negative results.
Klipstein’s Law Tolerances will accumulate unidirectionally toward maximum difficulty of assembly.
Glatum’s Law of Materialistic Acquisitiveness The perceived usefulness of an article is inversely proportional to its actual usefulness once bought and paid for.
Lewis’ Law No matter how long or hard you shop for an item, after you’ve bought it, it will be on sale somewhere cheaper.
The Airplane Law When the plane you are on is late, the plane you want to transfer to is on time.
Etorre’s Observation The other line moves faster.
First Law of Revision Information necessitiating a change of design will be conveyed to the designer after – and only after – the plans are complete. (Often called the ‘Now They Tell Us’ Law)
Second Law of Revision The more innocuous the modification appears to be, the further its influence will extend and the more plans will have to be redrawn.
Corollary to the First Law of Revision In simple cases, presenting one obvious right way versus one obvious wrong way, it is often wiser to choose the wrong way, so as to expedite subsequent revision.
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