- If nobody uses it, there’s a reason.
- Interchangeable parts won’t.
- Time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a banana.
- You never find a lost article until you replace it.
- You get the most of what you need the least.
|Ralph’s Observation||It is a mistake to allow any mechanical object to realize that you are in a hurry.|
|Cole’s Law||Thinly sliced cabbage|
|Firestone’s Law of Forcasting||Chicken Little only has to be right once.|
|Manly’s Maxim||Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.|
|Moer’s truism||The trouble with most jobs is the job holder’s resemblence to being one of a sled dog team. No one gets a change of scenery except the lead dog.|
|Cannon’s Comment||If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.|
|MURPHY’S LAW||If anything can go wrong, it will.|
|Murphy’s Corollary||Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.|
|Murphy’s Corollary||It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious|
|Murphy’s Constant||Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value|
|Quantized Revision of Murphy’s Law||Everything goes wrong all at once.|
|O’Toole’s Commentary||Murphy was an optimist.|
|Scott’s Second Law||When an error has been detected and corrected, it will be found to have been correct in the first place.|
|Finagle’s First Law||If an experiment works, something has gone wrong.|
|Finagle’s Second Law||No matter what the experiment’s result, there will always be someone eager to:
|Finagle’s Third Law||In any collection of data, the figure most obviously correct, beyond all need of checking, is the mistake.|
|Finagle’s Fourth Law||Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it only makes it worse.|
|Gumperson’s Law||The probability of anything happening is in inverse ratio to its desirability.|
|Rudin’s Law||In crises that force people to choose among alternative courses of action, most people will choose the worst one possible.|
|Ginsberg’s Restatement of the Three Laws of Thermodynamics||
|Ehrman’s Commentary||Things will get worse before they will get better. Who said things would get better?|
|Commoner’s Second Law of Ecology||Nothing ever goes away.|
|Howe’s Law||Everyone has a scheme that will not work.|
|Zymurgy’s First Law of Evolving Systems Dynamics||Once you open a can of worms, the only way to recan them is to use a bigger can.|
|Non-Reciprocal Law of Expectations||Negative expectations yield negative results.
Positive expectations yield negative results.
|Klipstein’s Law||Tolerances will accumulate unidirectionally toward maximum difficulty of assembly.|
|Glatum’s Law of Materialistic Acquisitiveness||The perceived usefulness of an article is inversely proportional to its actual usefulness once bought and paid for.|
|Lewis’ Law||No matter how long or hard you shop for an item, after you’ve bought it, it will be on sale somewhere cheaper.|
|The Airplane Law||When the plane you are on is late, the plane you want to transfer to is on time.|
|Etorre’s Observation||The other line moves faster.|
|First Law of Revision||Information necessitiating a change of design will be conveyed to the designer after – and only after – the plans are complete. (Often called the ‘Now They Tell Us’ Law)|
|Second Law of Revision||The more innocuous the modification appears to be, the further its influence will extend and the more plans will have to be redrawn.|
|Corollary to the First Law of Revision||In simple cases, presenting one obvious right way versus one obvious wrong way, it is often wiser to choose the wrong way, so as to expedite subsequent revision.|