Irish Definitions

HAPPILY MARRIED IRISH COUPLE: A husband with another man’s wife.
IRISH ALCOHOLIC: Anybody who will drink with anybody to anybody.
IRISH ATHEIST: A man who goes about wishing to God he could believe in
God.
IRISH BANQUET: A potato and a six pack.
IRISH BEAUTY: A colleen with two black eyes.
IRISH CADILLAC: A wheelbarrow.
IRISH CLUBHOUSE: A police station.
IRISH COURTSHIP: A time during which the Irish girl decides whether
she can do better or not.
IRISH DRAPERIES: Large female breasts.
IRISH DRUNK: A guy you don’t like, who drinks as much as you do.
IRISH FOREPLAY: “Brace yourself, Bridget!”
IRISH GENTLEMAN: One who never strikes a lady without provocation.
IRISH QUEER: A fellow who prefers women to drink.
IRISH SAFETY SLOGAN: Don’t drink when you drive, you might hit a bump
and spill it.
IRISH WHISKEY: Makes a man see double and act single.
IRISHMAN: Someone who would trample over twelve naked women to reach a
bottle of Guinness.

>From Larry Wilde’s _The Last Official Irish Joke Book_. Copyright
1983. Reprinted without permission.

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