I’m Glad I’m a Man.
I’m glad I’m a man, of that I am proud.
I’m not all bitchy, annoying and loud.
I won’t try to squeeze in jeans three sizes too small.
My crdit card is still good when I leave from the mall.
I won’t drink diet coke, or eat a rice cake.
There’s no silicone here, my chest isn’t fake.
My face isn’t “lifted,” my bra isn’t stuffed,
I do what’s proper, I leave the toilet seat up.
It doesn’t take hours to fix up my hair,
I don’t see the need to use the bathroom in pairs.
I won’t throw a tyrade and then blame PMS.
I’m a man, and I’m glad I can deal with my stress.
I have intuition, I never get lost.
I share household duties, I won’t try to be boss.
I’m a man and with that comes a high sense of class.
I won’t wear a swimsuit that rides up my ass.
I won’t cry like a baby when Bambi gets shot
I don’t make up false places, like the infamous “G-spot.”
I’m a man of high faith, its my right to command.
The bible and God say all women must serve under man.
I won’t go out at night in a black leather skirt,
Then slap anybody who just tries to flirt.
You crazy women scare me, you have lots of gall,
To make Lorena a hero for hacking off balls.
Yes I’m pleased to be male and I don’t mean to gloat.
I’m sorry you don’t understand how to work the remote.
I’ll never tease you, or play hard to get.
If I don’t get my way I won’t throw a fit.
I don’t worry much about breaking a nail.
My face without makeup isn’t distorted and pale.
I’ll never say one thing while meaning another.
When life gets real hard, I won’t run to my mother.
In order to understand just who I am;
You need a Y-chromosome; it’s what makes you a man.