If Microsoft Built Cars

The Top-n ways things would be different if Microsoft built cars.
(drumroll,please…)

1. A particular model year of car wouldn’t be available until AFTER that
year,instead of before.

2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you’d have to buy a
new car.

3. Occasionally your car would just die for no reason, you’d have to
restart it. For some strange reason, you would just accept this.

4. You could only have one person at a time in your car, unless you
bought a car ’95 or a car NT, but then you’d have to buy more seats.

5. You would be constantly pressured to upgrade your car. Wait a sec,
it’s that way NOW!

6. Sun Motorsystems would make a car that was solar powered, twice
as reliable, 5 times as fast, but only ran on 5% of the roads.

7. The oil, alternator, gas, engine warning lights would be replaced
with a single “General Car Fault” warning light.

8. People would get excited about the “new” features in Microsoft cars,
forgetting completely that they had been available in other brands
for years.

9. We would still be waiting on the “6000 sux 58′” model to come out.

10. We’d all have to switch to Microsoft Gas ™.

11. Lee Iacocca would be hired-on as Bill G.’s chauffeur.

12. The US government would be GETTING subsidies from an automaker,
instead of giving them.

13. New seats will force everyone to have the same size ass.

14. Ford, General Motors and Chrysler would all be complaining
because Microsoft was putting a radio in all its models.

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50 Comments

  1. I agree , Mark. We experienced one, not a smart move, the automatic transmission took much strength to pull it which the gas mileage was poor, poor superior allover, etc. A man bumped to the rear bumper as soon as and sort of twisted it, a human body shop desired to pull it off and straighten it for $75.00. Not becoming happy with that, I arrived dwelling, put on my leather gloves and straightened it BY HAND!!

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