Humor:Slide Rules

Reasons Why a Slide Rule (and Paper Pad)
is Better Than an X Workstation

– A Slide Rule doesn’t shut down abruptly when it gets too hot.

– One hundred people all using Slide Rules and Paper Pads do not start
wailing and screaming due to a single-point failure.

– A Slide Rule doesn’t smoke whenever the power supply hiccups.

– A Slide Rule doesn’t care if you smoke, or hiccup.

– You can spill coffee on a Slide Rule; you can use a Slide Rule while
completely submerged in coffee.

– You never get nasty system messages about filling up your entire
paper quota with pointless GIF pictures for the root window.

– A Slide Rule and Paper Pad fit in a briefcase with space left over
for lunch or a change of underwear.

– A properly used Slide Rule can perform pipelined *and* parallel
operations. (Okay, you need a guru for this.)

– You don’t get junk mail offering pricey software upgrades that fix
current floating point errors while introducing new ones.

– A Slide Rule doesn’t need scheduled hardware maintenance.

– A Paper Pad supports text and graphics images easily, and can be
easily upgraded from monochrome to color.

– Slide Rules are designed to a standardized, open architecture.

– You can hold a Slide Rule at arm’s length, to hit the obnoxious
person at the next seat over.

– A Slide Rule is immune to viruses, worms, and other depredations
from hostile adolescents with telephones.

– Additional Paper Pads can be integrated into the system seamlessly
and without needing to reconfigure everything.

– Nobody will make you feel bad by introducing a smaller, faster,
cheaper slide rule next month.

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