How to get your sorry ass through a term paper

1. Graphs and charts and maps and maybe one more chart
2. Coffee sweetened with jelly beans
3. Bee Gees “Saturday Night Fever” soundtrack on CD repeat
4. Now would be a good time to practice your ESP skills
5. Somehow work in a quote from the Prince of Wales
6. Midnight conversion to Roman Catholic in hopes of completing the paper
before dawn
7. Beg your dog to share his wisdom
8. Copy the bibliography you used for your “Street Vendors: Friend or Foe”
paper
9. Paper clip a blank check made out to your professor on your summary page
10. Lie like a bastard

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