60 degrees – Californians put on sweaters (if they can find one in their wardrobe)
50 degrees – Miami residents turn on the heat
40 degrees – You can see your breath Californians shiver uncontrollably, Minnesotans go swimming
35 degrees – Italian cars don’t start
32 degrees – Water freezes
30 degrees – You plan your vacation to Australia Minnesotans put on T-shirts. Politicians begin to worry about the homeless. British cars don’t start. Your boogers freeze
25 degrees – Boston water freezes. Californians weep pitiably. Minnesotans eat ice cream. Canadians go swimming.
20 degrees – You can hear your breath. Politicians begin to talk about the homeless. New York City water freezes. Miami residents plan vacation further South.
15 degrees – French cars don’t start. You plan a vacation in Mexico. Cat insists on sleeping in your bed with you.
10 degrees – Too cold to ski. You need jumper cables to get the car going.
5 degrees – You plan your vacation in Houston. American cars don’t start.
0 degrees – Alaskans put on T-shirts. Too cold to skate.
-10 degrees – German cars don’t start. Eyes freeze shut when you blink.
-15 degrees – You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo. Arkansans stick tongue on metal objects. Miami residents cease to exist.
-20 degrees – Cat insists on sleeping in your pajamas with you. Politicians actually do something about the homeless. Minnesotans shovel snow off roof. Japanese cars don’t start.
-25 degrees – Too cold to think. You need jumper cables to get the driver going.
-30 degrees – You plan a two week hot bath. The Mighty Monongahela freezes. Swedish cars don’t start.
-40 degrees – Californians disappear. Minnesotans button top button. Canadians put on sweaters. Your car helps you plan your trip South.
-50 degrees – Congressional hot air freeze. Alaskans close the bathroom window.
-80 degrees – Hell freezes over. Polar bears move south.