Good Things About Getting Adopted by the Clintons

  1. Instead of an allowance, you get a slush fund
  2. Can tell the other kids, “My Dad’s Secret Service agents can kick your dad’s ass”
  3. “Uncle Al” Gore always has lots of free time to play
  4. You can finally stop working in Kathie Lee’s sweatshop
  5. Get to hang out with all those pretty “aunts” that Dad keeps bringing by the White House
  6. Pillow fights with George Stephanopolous
  7. Even if you can’t live up to your Father the President, you can always look down on the loser, Uncle Roger
  8. Great new excuse: “Mom accidentally shredded my homework”
  9. If you get caught smoking pot, just tell Dad you didn’t inhale — what’s he gonna say?
  10. Every night is McDonald’s night!
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