Dictionary of Evaluation Comments

Some of you might like to know what the supervisor is really saying in all those glowing employee work performance evaluations s/he keeps cranking out.

  • AVERAGE: Not too bright.
  • EXCEPTIONALLY WELL QUALIFIED: Has committed no major blunders to date.
  • ACTIVE SOCIALLY: Drinks heavily.
  • ZEALOUS ATTITUDE: Opinionated.
  • CHARACTER ABOVE REPROACH: Still one step ahead of the law.
  • UNLIMITED POTENTIAL: Will stick with us until retirement.
  • QUICK THINKING: Offers plausible excuses for errors.
  • TAKES PRIDE IN WORK: Conceited.
  • SEEKS OPPORTUNITIES TO PROGRESS: Buys drinks for superiors.
  • INDIFFERENT TO INSTRUCTION: Knows more than superiors.
  • STERN DISCIPLINARIAN: A real jerk.
  • TACTFUL IN DEALING WITH SUPERIORS: Knows when to keep mouth shut.
  • APPROACHES DIFFICULT PROBLEMS WITH LOGIC: Finds someone else to do the job.
  • A KEEN ANALYST: Thoroughly confused.
  • NOT A DESK PERSON: Did not go to college.
  • EXPRESSES SELF WELL: Can string two sentences together.
  • SPENDS EXTRA HOURS ON THE JOB: Miserable home life.
  • CONSCIENTIOUS AND CAREFUL: Scared.
  • METICULOUS ATTENTION TO DETAIL: A nitpicker.
  • DEMONSTRATES QUALITIES OF LEADERSHIP: Has a loud voice.
  • JUDGEMENT IS USUALLY SOUND: Lucky.
  • MAINTAINS PROFESSIONAL ATTITUDE: A snob.
  • KEEN SENSE OF HUMOR: Knows lots of dirty jokes.
  • STRONG ADHERENCE TO PRINCIPLES: Stubborn.
  • GETS ALONG EXTREMELY WELL WITH SUPERIORS AND SUBORDINATES ALIKE: A coward.
  • SLIGHTLY BELOW AVERAGE: Stupid.
  • OF GREAT VALUE TO THE ORGANIZATION: Turns in work on time.
  • IS UNUSUALLY LOYAL: Wanted by no one else.
  • ALERT TO COMPANY DEVELOPMENTS: An office gossip.
  • REQUIRES WORK-VALUE ATTITUDINAL READJUSTMENT: Lazy and hard-headed.
  • HARD WORKER: Usually does it the hard way.
  • ENJOYS JOB: Needs more to do. Can’t get on anywhere else
  • HAPPY: Paid too much.
  • WELL ORGANIZED: Does too much busywork.
  • COMPETENT: Is still able to get work done if supervisor helps.
  • CONSULTS WITH SUPERVISOR OFTEN: Pain in the ass.
  • WILL GO FAR: A relative of the management.
  • USES TIME EFFECTIVELY: Clock watcher.
  • VERY CREATIVE: Finds 22 reasons to do anything except original work.
  • USES RESOURCES WELL: Delegates everything.
  • DESERVES PROMOTION: Create new title to get this person out of the production area.
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