The Top 20 Cool Things About a Car that
Goes Faster than the Speed of Light
20> Sleep ’til noon. Still get to work by 8:00am!
19> Doppler shift makes red traffic lights look green.
18> Breaking laws of physics only a misdemeanor in most
17> Never in car long enough to hear an entire Madonna
16> Carl Sagan and Stephen Hawking keep bugging you to
15> No one can see you pick your nose while you drive.
14> Lunch breaks in Paris, circa 1792.
13> LA to Vegas in 2 nanoseconds.
12> You can stop worrying about being sucked into a black
hole driving home from work.
11> You’ll be so thin while driving it you can even wear
10> That deer in your headlights is actually behind you.
9> Kid from Mentos commercial almost guaranteed to lose
a limb if he tries to duck through back seat.
8> Traffic enforcement limited to cops with PhD’s in
7> Bugs never see you comin’.
6> You can get to the good hookers before Charlie Sheen.
5> Can make a fortune delivering pizza with the slogan
“It’s there before you order or it’s free!”
4> Car makes it from Hollywood to London fast enough to
not arouse suspicions of Elizabeth Hurley.
3> License plate: “Me=mc2”
2> Cigarette butts don’t land in the backseat — they
land in last week!
and the Number 1 Cool Thing About a Car that
Goes Faster than the Speed of Light…
1> Chicks dig it.