Clues for Individuals

Clues for Individuals
———————

The following 11 tips based on allegedly true stories
reported from observers in the field.

1. If you’re bidding on a job for UPS, don’t send your bid
by FedEx.

2. If your computer says, “Printer out of Paper,” this
problem cannot be resolved by continuously clicking the “OK”
button.

3. If you want your refrigerator’s ice maker to work, you
need to hook it to a water source. Air doesn’t make good
ice unless it is mixed with water.

4. No matter how much data you add to your laptop, it will
not get heavier.

5. A bad place to store your emergency backup diskette is
on the underside of your desk drawer, secured by a large
magnet.

6. It’s okay to use the Polaroid Land Camera on a boat.

7. When the PC says, “Insert diskette #2,” don’t do it
immediately. Remove disk #1 first, even if you’re sure you
can make them both fit in there.

8. When your PC says “You have mail,” don’t go to the
company mail room and look for a package.

9. The French version of Netscape Navigator doesn’t
translate English language web pages into French.

10. If you’re in the armed services, and it’s April 1st,
and you get an e-mail message to call Colonel Sanders for
new orders, don’t.

11. If you go to the computer store to buy a mousepad, you
don’t have to specify whether it’s for a Windows or a
Macintosh.

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