Rabbi and Priest’s New Cars

The rabbi and the priest lived next door to each other and brought new cars almost exactly at the same time. Looking out of the window, the rabbi saw the priest with a small bowl of water sprinkling the contents over the car and blessing it. Not to be outdone … Continue reading

Top 10 Reasons Why Beer Is Betther Than Jesus

No one will kill you for not drinking beer. Beer doesn’t tell you how to have sex. Beer has never caused a major war. They don’t force beer on minors who can’t think for themselves. When you have beer, you don’t knock on people’s doors trying to give it away. … Continue reading

Shit Happens in Various World Religions

Religion Shit Happens Taoism Shit happens. If you can shit, it isn’t shit. Shit happens, so flow with it. Hare Krishna Shit Happens, Rama Rama Ding Ding. She-it happens, She-it happens, happens, happens, she-it, she-it… (Repeat until you become one with she-it) Please this flower and buy our shit. Confucianism … Continue reading

Public Sleep Talker

One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. “Reverend,” she said, “I have a problem–my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It’s very embarrassing. What should I do?” “I have an idea,” said the minister. “Take this hatpin with you. I … Continue reading

The Gates of Heaven

A man arrives at the gates of heaven. St. Peter asks, “Religion?” The man says, “Episcopalian”. St. Peter looks down his list, and says, “Go to room 24. But be very quiet as you pass room 8”. Another man arrives at the gates of heaven. “Religion”? “Baptist”. “Go to room … Continue reading

The Wayside Chapel

An English schoolteacher, was in Switzerland and looking for a room to rent for when she would begin her teaching there the following fall. She asked the schoolmaster if he would recommed any. He took her to see several rooms, and when everything was settled she returned home to make … Continue reading

Heaven or Hell

Bill Gates dies in a car accident. He finds himself in purgatory, being sized up by St. Peter. “Well, Bill, I’m really confused on this call; I’m not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped society by putting a computer in almost every … Continue reading

Sunday School Humor

A Sunday School teacher was teaching the importance of love in the home. She illustrated her point by referring to the commandment, “Honor thy father and thy mother.” She then asked if there was a commandment which taught how to treat sisters and brothers. One little boy from a large … Continue reading

Rabbi Playing Golf

The great Rabbi of a big city is a golf addict. He likes nothing like playing golf on a warm sunny afternoon. Unfortunately, on shabbat, he has to refrain himself. This is a big dilemma for his soul; the temptation to play golf, and the consciousness of doing wrong if … Continue reading

The Chain Letter Of St. Paul The Apostle To The Corinthians

The Chain Letter of Paul the Apostle to the Corinthians WITH CHARITY ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE This epistle comes to you from Philippi. Grace be to you and peace. Spiritual gifts will be delivered unto you within four days of receiving this letter–providing you in turn send it on. This … Continue reading

Died in Service

A young boy and his father were standing in church foyer, looking at a memorial dedicated to all the men and women who had died in war. “What’s that Daddy?”, the little boy asked. “It’s a memorial to all the people who have died in service, son”, the father replied. … Continue reading

Religous Golf

One day three people were playing golf. The first person up to the tee was Jesus. He steps up to the tee, lines up his shot, and hits ball as hard as he can. It’s not to good of a shot. It ends up on a lilly pad in the … Continue reading

Bible Stories Retold by Youngsters

It is truly astonishing what happens in Bible stories when they are retold by young scholars around the world: In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world, so He took the Sabbath off. Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. Noah’s … Continue reading

The Pope and a Lawyer in Heaven

The pope and a lawyer died together and met together at the pearly gates. St Peter motioned them both to  follow as he walked down a silvery road. The houses were rather meagre along the road. St Peter eventually motioned the Pope to a simple one roomed house where he … Continue reading

Good Explanation

One day God came to Adam to pass on some news. “I’ve got some good news and some bad news“, God said. Adam looked at God and said, “Well, give me the good news first“. Smiling, God explained, “I’ve got two new organs for you. One is called a brain. … Continue reading

Jesus Joke (clean)

The Day of Judgement has arrived. Major disasters everywhere: flood, fire, disease. St. Peter has been at the Gates of Heaven for three straight days, asking the millions of victims some very basic questions. Jesus comes along and sees that Peter is much too tired to continue. “Pete, take a … Continue reading

Jesus is Coming

A Catholic Bishop was on his way to the Vatican when he saw a crowd of people. “Driver, ” he asked “take me to see what is happening over in that crowd of people. So he went over and saw Jesus Christ walking towards the Vatican. “Oh, my goodness!! That’s … Continue reading

New Priest

The new priest was so nervous at his first mass that he could hardly speak. Before his second appearance in the pulpit he asked the Monsignor how he could relax. The Monsignor said, “next Sunday it may help if you put some vodka in the water pitcher. After a few sips, every thing should … Continue reading

Catholic School Maths

A young boy was in grade four and was having a terrible time with his mathematics. His parents worked with him night after night but there was no improvement. His math marks were dismal. His parents in desperation decided to transfer their son to a new school. They decided to … Continue reading

The Promise

Five thousand years ago Moses said: “Pack up your camel, pick up your shovel, move your ass, and I will lead you to the promised land.” Five thousand years later Franklin D. Roosevelt said, “Lay down your shovel, sit on your ass, light up a Camel, this IS the promised … Continue reading

Travelling Salesmen

A Jew, a Hindu and a lawyer were all travelling together (who knows why, maybe they were going to a rock concert) anyway it was getting dark and they needed to find a place to stay. Fortunately, they came across a farm house. The farmer, being the friendly country type, … Continue reading

Jesus and Moses in a Boat

Moses and Jesus are floating on the sea in a small boat. They talk for a while about the good ol’ days. Jesus thinks for a second and says to Moses, “Do you think you still have the touch?”. Moses looks at him and shrugs, “Dunno. Let me try.” So … Continue reading

Adam and Eve

One day, after a near eternity in the Garden of Eden, Adam calls out to God, “Lord, I have a problem.” “What’s the problem, Adam?”, God replies. “Lord, I know you created me and have provided for me and surrounded me with this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful … Continue reading

Ecumenical Fire

During a recent ecumenical gathering, a secretary rushed in shouting, “The building is on fire!” The METHODISTS gathered in a corner and prayed. The BAPTISTS cried, “Where is the water?” The CHURCH OF CHRIST called a meeting to determine if fire was scriptural. The QUAKERS silently praised God for the … Continue reading