bits and pieces

Years ago, I saw a show put on by Red Skelton, who asked:
“Did you ever wonder where poeple in hell tell people to go?”
And from way in the back of the auditorium, there came a shout:

The police recently busted a man selling tablets he said gave
eternal youth. When going through their files they noticed
it was the fourth time he was caught for doing this.
He had earlier been arrested in 1794, 1856 and 1928.

Do you know why God asked Abraham to sacrifice Isaac at age 12?
Because at 13 it would no longer be a sacrifice.

Q. What do you call a Lada at the topof a hill?
A. A Miracle.

– – —————————————————-

All this talk about stupid computer users reminds me of
a few stories that was reported in a magazine a while back over
here in the uk.

One guy wanted his Atari 800 to play space invaders faster so
he bypassed the power pack and plugged in right into the mains.
240V instead of 12V smoke one Atari.

Another lady was concerned that there wasn’t a mouse in her
new computers box, always quick to improvise she
went down the pet shop and brought one!!!!.

A while ago(~1983) is was a fad amoung some computer mags to include a
flexible record on the cover, this would contain some computer programs
which could be copied onto tape using a normal Hi-Fi.
This magazine (What Computer I think) had a phone call from a
concerned man stating that he could only get it in his disk drive if
he folded it in half!

– – —–

Waiter: “Tea or coffee, gentlemen?”
1st customer: “I’ll have tea.”
2nd customer: “Me, too — and be sure the glass is clean!”
(Waiter exits, returns)
Waiter: “Two teas. Which one asked for the clean glass?”

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