Benefits of turning 40

1. Color-coordinating walker
2. Won’t have to pretend to fit in with the thirty-something crowd
3. Nursing homes start to look appealing
4. You’re almost a grown-up
5. Future: Afgans and All My Children
6. Declare young children must respect their elders (in form of cash gifts
on your birthday)
7. Only twelve more years until your college loans are paid off
8. Can finally relate to Paul Newman movies
9. You’re half way to being a golfer
10. Start to wonder how much longer you’ll have to work in that hell-hole
before they recognize you for the genius you are and offer you early
retirement

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