50 Fun Things Todo In A Final Exam (That Does Not Matter)

(i.e. you are going to fail the class completely no matter what you get on the final exam) Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say “oh geez, better get cracking” and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes … Continue reading

New PBS Schedule

Here’s a future PBS schedule if public broadcasting leaders cave in to Republican pressure by Mark Harmon, Associate Professor at Texas Tech. 8:00 am Morning Stretch: Arnold Schwarzenegger does squats while reciting passages of “Atlas Shrugged.” 9:00 am Mr. Rogers’ Segregated Neighborhood: King Friday sings “Elitism is neat.” The House … Continue reading

The First Aid Treatment of Minor Mishaps

COMPLAINT SYMPTOMS TREATMENT APPENDICITIS Pain in right lower abdomen. Nausea, possible vomiting and fever. Who cares? It’s a vestigial organ anyway. Give him an aspirin. BURNS and SCALDS Redness, mild swelling, and pain. Blisters may develop. Peel away dead skin. Rub vigorously to encourage good circulation. CONVULSION Strong, jerking movements; … Continue reading

heart0

,___. ___. ___. ____ i/~~~mm~~~iimm m~~~mm~~~~m ,_!_@@@_ ,d@@_!!_.,d@@_ ,d@@b.t_ im/~i@@~~~ ‘~Y@@ii@W W@@~~ ‘~~Y@W’~mm /!___!!__@@@@b__/!!@A t__@@@@b_.,__.. i`m@@~ m@@@@@@@@@m Y` iW@@@@@@@@Wi’Y@Wi []@@!,@@@@@@@@@@@@@b._@@@@@@@@@@@@@b M@@] []@P W@@@@@@@@@@@@@@W@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@i’@@] [ ]@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ !!] /im ]@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@ im’i ,!@@.!@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@A d@[t ] @@[ @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@[ @@[] t!M@.!@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@A d@,! ‘m’~` Y@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@` ~~i/ .@b.!M@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@/ _@[/! i`Y@Wi’Y@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@~ m@@` t.\! @@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@A! ///!_! ‘mm m ~@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@P`ii … Continue reading

Dr Seuss – ASCII Art

__________ __________/VVVVVVVVVV /VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV| /VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV/ /VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV/ |VVVV^^^^^^^^^^^^ | | vvvvvv | vvvvvvvVVVVVVVVVVVVVV/ |/VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV| |VVVVVVV^^^^^^^^^^ | |V/ | vvvvvvvvvvvvv| /VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV /VVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV____ |VVVVVVVV^^^^^^^^^^___________) |__|/ _____ //——– \xx/ | xx /%%%%/// __ __ \ _xxx %%%% / / / | / x%%%% ((0) ) ((0) ) | / #/|%%%% __/ __/ __ ______——- #/ … Continue reading

pot

| |.| |.| |./| |./| . |./| . ^. |\.//| /.^/ –.| |\.//| /|.–/ –.| |\.//| / |.–/ —.| |./| /|.—/ –.| |./| /|.–/ . |.| /. / _ -_^_^_^_- \ // / -_^_^_^_- _ – -/_/_/- ^ ^ Y ^ ^ -__- – | | Continue reading

Painter – ASCII Art

______ _( )__ _( )_ (_ ArTe ) (_ AsCiI _) (__ _) (________) O o o _——Q– /~ ) <_____________ / / _ ))))))))) [] / ((((((((( |~~~| (____/’ )))))))))) | | ))))))))))))))))) | | | (((((((((((((((((( / | | | /~~———-/| // | _/ | |<===| ===] ||// … Continue reading

footprints

************************************************************************ * FOOT PRINTS * * * * ooooO One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach * * ( ) with the Lord. Many scenes from my life flashed * * ) [ Ooooo across the sky, sometimes there were two sets of * * (_) ( … Continue reading

Cow – ASCII Art

/; ; __ \____// /{__/ `’____ ___ (o) (o } _____________________________/ :–‘ ,-,’`@@@@@@@@ @@@@@@ _ `__ ;:( @@@@@@@@@ @@@ ___(o’o) :: ) @@@@ @@@@@@ ,’@@( `====’ :: : @@@@@: @@@@ `@@@: :: @@@@@: @@@@@@@) ( ‘@@@’ ;; / /`, @@@@@@@@@ :@@@@@) ::/ ) {_—————-: :~`,~~; ;;’`; : ) : / … Continue reading

problem

___ ___ ___ ___ _ ___ __ __ ___ ___ _ __ _____ _ _ ___ | _ _ / _ | _ ) | | __| / | / __|/ _ | | / /_ _| | |/ __| | _/ / (_) | _ |__| _|| |/| | … Continue reading

you

___________ ____ ______/ __// __/____ _/ _/ : //____\ /| : : .. / | | :: :: / | | 😐 || ______/ | | || || | / | | || || | / | | || || | / /_ | ___ || ___ || | / … Continue reading

Music – ASCII Art

_ /. __—-__ | @@ . @@ . / . _____|_____________@@_____________________@@____________@@________/________ | / / | @@ @@ | @@ @@ | | | | _____|/___|_________|___@@_______@@__@@_|__|___@@__@@____|_____|___|_________| /| |/ @@ | | @@ @@ | | | | @@ | | | | ___/_|_____/___@@__|___|____@@__|___|__|__|___|___|_____|_____|___|_________| / /| / | | | | | … Continue reading

snoopy2

/—-X /—-X / —- X / /–X X / / X X / / X X / / /—X I-I IX I I I I / I I /OOOOI I-I IOX I I I I/OOOO/ /OOOX XOX / / I X/OOO/ /O/—X X-X / X X–/ /O/ X—/ /SX–/-XO/ X … Continue reading

jem

,gaaaaaaaagaaaaaaaaaaaaagaaaaaaaag, ,aP8b _,dYba, ,adPb,_ d8Ya, ,aP” Yb_,dP” “Yba, ,adP” “Yb,_dP “Ya, ,aP” _88″ )888( “88_ “Ya, ,aP” _,dP”Yb ,adP”8″Yba, dP”Yb,_ “Ya, ,aPYb _,dP8 Yb ,adP” 8 “Yba, dP 8Yb,_ dPYa, ,aP” YdP” dP YbdP” 8 “YbdP Yb “YbP “Ya, `Yb, d8a, Ya d8b, 8 ,d8b aP ,a8b ,dP’ “Yb,dP “Ya … Continue reading