All I Need To Know About Life; I Learned From My Dog

  • If you stare at someone long enough, eventually you’ll get what you want.
  • When it comes to having sex, if at first you don’t succeed, beg.
  • Don’t go out without I.D.
  • Be direct with people; let them know exactly how you feel by piddling on their shoes.
  • Be aware of when to hold your tongue, and when to use it.
  • Leave room in your schedule for a good nap.
  • Always give people a friendly greeting – a cold nose in the crotch is effective.
  • When you do something wrong, always take responsibility (as soon as you’re dragged out from under the bed).
  • If it’s not wet and sloppy, it’s not a real kiss.
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